WEEK 10: IT WAS A GOOD WEEK:

Last week was a bit of a tough week.  Earlier this week I went out for breakfast and ended up with more food on me than in me.  Food covered my clothes and beard as I sat at the table; the waitress handed me the bill and cleared my plates.  She looked me up and down, turned toward the kitchen and for a minute I was mortified that she was going to come back with a damp towel.  After I sauntered up to dutifully pay my bill, I had to run home to change so I didn’t go to work looking like a Jackson Pollack painting.  And yet I smiled.

I drove to work on Tuesday and hit every light on red.  It was as if there was a person manning the stop light controls and forcing them to turn red as I got closer.  I saw a light turn green as I was approaching and I swear the light switched straight to red (no yellow) right when I got up to it but not close enough that I could run it (so about a mile away).  And yet I smiled. 

I had been told that protein bars are good substitutes for unhealthy snacks, so I thought I would try a few out.  On Thursday, with my calendar full of high-level meetings, I started to experience the gurgle squirts.  That’s where your stomach starts to bubble over like a boiling pot of water, and you have less than 3.5 seconds to make it to the toilet.  I spent most of the day on Thursday wondering when “the big one” was going hit.  And yet I smiled.

I lost both my NFL picks meaning I have lost somewhere around 274 games in a row.  And yet I smiled.

I ordered TaylorMade irons, but FedEx marked them as delivered and photographed the package at a different address. I had to spend a day worrying about who had my package of the most expensive items I have ever bought online.  And yet I smiled.

See below to determine why I had such a good week despite what may seem like a below average tale.

LAST WEEK:
GAME OF THE WEEK:
ACME SCOTT 120.2 (7-2) vs MARLBORO DROP 109.8 (5-4):
Acme got the win as expected in their win, loss, win, loss mathematical equation and kept the pattern alive.  Nothing changed for these guys.  It’s as if they never played.  Marlboro is still in first, and Acme Scott is still in second in his division and the league.  The only difference now is a minor head-to-head matchup decision that favors Acme Scott. 

RIVARLY GAME:
OVERPRICED JACKASSES 105.1 (4-5) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS 141.9 (3-6):
What is wrong with you Overpriced?  Your team must be broken.  That is the lowest number of points against Worthless Bastards any team has scored on the season.  It’s as if you didn’t even try.  Insult-to-injury, Worthless scored the greatest number of points on the week.  Wow this league is screwed up.  Outside of currently owning the record for least number of points scored against Worthless and losing ground to Haulin Ass in overall points, Overpriced also fell below .500 and needs some help to get back into relevancy in an impossibly tough division.  He is likely just playing for an upper playoff spot as the division is pretty much out of reach.  And as for Worthless Bastards, his division hopes were a whisp in the wind 5 years ago.

THE SCARY REST:
CRANKERS 89.1 (3-6) vs CATCH22 132.0 (7-2):
This was a throttling.  My team is terrible to begin with and then layer on that of my 16 players 15 of them were on a bye, I had no chance.  Catch22 scored above average points, and if it weren’t for whoever played SYMTD I would have had the worst points.  This game didn’t even need to be played as it was over before it began.
SWAG 111.2 (4-5) vs UDDERGUYS 133.2 (4-5):
Udderguys first ever victory over SWAG, helped create a vision for him of making the upper playoffs.  SWAG remains competitive in his division thanks to the ineptitude of Slippery Boys but lost ground in head-to-head matchups, which could hurt him later.   Udderguys just crept a bit closer in his division with the toilet swirling of Marlboro Drop.
SLIPPERY BOYS 117.5 (5-4) vs HAULIN ASS 121.5 (2-7):
And yet I smiled!
SHOW ME YOUR TDs 116.2 (5-4) vs BISS1 75.2 (5-4):
Once this week was over, both teams come out in first place.  Can we just agree that from here on out, whoever is playing SMYTD, you try to start a team that scores more than 10 points.  Because her last 4 opponents including Biss1 have not figured out her defense yet.  SMYTD claims a spot for first, which baffles me and Biss1 stays in first which baffles me.  I keep making bets on NFL teams, that baffles Vegas as they wonder why I keep handing over money to them.

PARADE PARADE:
The season is winding down but there is still enough time left for movement.  For the first time Haulin Ass has shown signs of life.  But as of the time of this writing, those signs of life have died off.  His Thursday didn’t fare all that great.
HAULIN ASS – 843.7:  He had a solid week last week and made-up ground on number 2 and number 3, but he needs a lot more weeks like that to make a dent.  Right now, he is 75 points clear of number 2.  He needs help.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs – 920.2:  Lost a bit of ground, yet manages to gain a share of first place.  What the hell is wrong with this league?
OVERPRICED JACKASSES – 945.4:  He likely won’t be in this equation the rest of the year, so just fun seeing him sit here for yet another week.
UNHONORABLE MENTION:  BISS1 – 958.3, Udderguys – 986.2, Crankers – 1,004.9

THIS WEEK:
GAME OF THE WEEK:
SHOW ME YOUR TDs (5-4) vs CATCH22 (7-2) (0-0):
This game is so strange for me.  Catch22 is leading the league, racking up the points with a slightly above average season.  He is 8^th in points against and 4^th in points for which would show he should have some wins, but he is 7-2 mowing down his opponents and marching toward a chance to defend his title (Let’s face it he did have a bye last week).  Meanwhile, SYMTD is in FIRST.  That’s right, she is in first place in her division (thanks to her husband).  But let’s break that down.  Everyone is afraid of her.  In the last 4 weeks, not a single team has scored more than 85 against her.  Worthless Bastards has yet to see an opposing team score less than 105 and she doesn’t even have an opposing team get into the 90s in over a month.  But I would assume that Catch22 isn’t afraid of some little girl and will steal this one away.  Shit I better reword that before I initiate an amber alert on Catch22 – again.

RIVALRY GAME:
SLIPPERY BOYS (5-4) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS (3-6) (17-13):
Looking at this one on the surface you probably ask yourself is Crankers okay.  Is he losing his marbles, these two aren’t rivals.  They’re friendly neighbors whom people have visions of them wearing Dutch attire while skipping through the fields hand in hand.  But underneath there are some bitter rivalry tendencies.  This game features two teams who are playing for the 31^st time with 11 of them being close.  Slippery has won 5 out of 6 but 3 of them were close and 1 featured Worthless Bastards scoring over 155 and losing.  Must be some hard feelings.  Actually, these two probably are going to log on at some point tomorrow and see they are playing the other and state, ‘Oh look I’m playing {the other one}, that should be fun’ and ignore the internet until Monday.

SPOOKY GAMES:
CRANKERS (3-6) vs ACME SCOTT (7-2) (10-16):
Here we have a potential rivalry game, but by record it is not, both in season and overall.  At one point I lost 7 in a row to my prick brother.  But as of late I did win 1 in a row against him to get back on track.  Acme Scott is tied with best record but is solidly in 2^nd in the league AND his division due to his loss to Catch22 earlier this year.  Yes, that will keep showing up until you two play each other again or one of you loses.  I in the meantime am tied for the who gives a shit team of the year.
SWAG (4-5) vs MARLBORO DROP (5-4) (4-3):
Ooooo this is a good sneaky game to watch, if it weren’t for the fact SWAG has shit the bed in the last 6 weeks (1-5 in that time frame).  SWAG has fallen out of first after sweeping the division but a win this week and he is solidly back in the conversation for upper playoffs, division relevancy, and my ire.  Marlboro on the other hand seems to not want to take control of his division.  He continues his up and down season but stays in first place tied with a team who scored 75 last week.  He looks like the team to beat in his division, but he must shake this 2024 runner up hangover he has been dealing with.  Last year Marlboro squeaked by SWAG to gain a championship game bid, which he promptly lost.  This could be a sneaky revenge good game.
HAULIN ASS (2-7) vs UDDERGUYS (4-5) (14-16):
This game features another set of teams playing for the 31^st time.  Their head-to-head record is closer than our current rivalry game, but the difference between the two games is that in 30 games played only 6 have been close.  When they play there doesn’t seem to be any fireworks as the game is over in the first 3 minutes of the Sunday noon games.  The last time they produced a memorable game was 2022 where Udderguys won by .5 and before that a close game didn’t present itself until 2019.  I expect Udderguys to win by 90.  At least last week Haulin Ass got the one win I wanted him to get.
OVERPRICED JACKASSES (4-5) vs BISS1 (5-4) (3-1):
This “middle of the pack” game is a sneaky good game to watch.  Biss1 is in first somehow hanging around, while Overpriced is completely out of the division equation but hanging around for upper playoffs.  A win by Biss1 and Overpriced may be sunk.  A win by Overpriced and everyone will have won the bet on this game, as I think we all agree Overpriced will move back to .500.

FUN LITTLE ARTICLE:
I read online that a company in Canada ranked the 50 states in order of zombie apocalypse sustainability.  As you can imagine the populous states = bad for zombieability, (poor, New Jersey, New York, Illinois, and California), while less populous states you have a chance to run from the dead (yeah to Alaska, Maine, Wyoming, and Idaho), and finally the states that have the most food per person to offer (Wisconsin is fucked).  What was more interesting is that the Canadian company did this study because over 10% of the US population believes there will be a zombie apocalypse in the future.  And half of those think it will happen in the next 10 – 15 years.  I really need to lose some weight.  If a zombie apocalypse does occur, it is not about how fast you can run, but rather are you skinnier than the guy next to you.

WEEK 9: THE FIRST WEEK OF HALF NUMBER 2 IS IN THE BOOKS.

We just started our second half so let’s break down how the season is going for each team.
CATCH22 (6-2):  - Can you say repeat?  Well, Catch22 sure believes in it as he owns our top spot at this junction in the season. 
ACME SCOTT (6-2):  - Can you say championship?  A win this week and the only person in his way for best record at this point is our last year champ.
MARLBORO DROP (5-3): - His up and down season has made things a bit rough, but still in first place.
SLIPPERY BOYS (5-3): - Can you say championship?  I sure the fuck hope not.
BISS1 (5-3): - Huh?  How?
OVERPRICED JACKASSES (4-4): - Middle of the pack, a weird spot for him.  But he has been in this position for the last couple years.
SWAG (4-4): - Needs more losses.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs (4-4): - Middle of the pack is a good spot to be in under the radar.  And you are very far under that radar.
UDDERGUYS (3-5): - Better find ways to score more points.  His last two weeks totals aren’t doing him any favors.
CRANKERS (3-5): - Just plain sucks.  I admit it, once I lost to SWAG, I lost all motivation.
WORTHLESS BASTARDS (2-6): - Wondering more on how many points the team he is playing will get than his own points.  He isn’t even in the conversation for lowest points, and yet only has 2 wins.  Rough year.  I’ll send you the empty bottle for your tears.
HAULIN ASS (1-7): - Well let’s just say he isn’t “standings” watching.    

LAST WEEK:
GAME OF THE WEEK:
SLIPPERY BOYS 126.9 (5-3) vs BISS1 131.4 (5-3):
I love it when I am wrong.  Slippery Boys didn’t win.  He got beat in a close one, which had to hurt, just him, nobody else.  Now it’s not like Slippery Boys needed the win, because he is still first in his division all by his lonesome, but he lost in a sneaker.  Biss1 is in a share of first place with his victory.  Oh, how the small penis’ have fallen.

RIVALRY GAME:
ACME SCOTT 153.4 (6-2) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS 112.9 (2-6):
If this game shocks anyone, then you haven’t been following the league.  Worthless Bastards is now 4 games behind his middle son and basically out of the playoffs but has more overall points.  Acme as shocking as it sounds scored highest points on the week against Worthless.  That feat has happened almost every week against him.  Right now, Worthless is on pace for 1.850 points against, which surprisingly is off the record pace by 50 points.  So, if he wants the record, he is going to have to loosen up the defense just a bit more.

THE OTHER SHITTY GAMES!
CRANKERS 147.0 (3-5) vs HAULIN ASS 77.9 (1-7):
What an awful game.  Haulin Ass has 1 win and Crankers has 3.  Oh, this game should be the Game of the Week?  The two of us haven’t been in the discussion for game of the week in over 10 years.  We have terrible teams and know as much about drafting football players as we do Pokémon cards.  Our gambling is also about as smart.  Let’s face it, we suck.  Oh, and by the way, I won.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs 95.0 (4-4) vs MARLBORO DROP 83.8 (5-3):
So one note about this game.  Marlboro did not prove to be the same as the previous two SMYTD opponents by scoring in the 70s.  He got into the 80s.  83 to be exact.  This hands SMYTD her third straight victory by default.  Marlboro looks to be back to terrible, while his up and down season continues.  Let’s see if someone can score more than 100 against SMYTD.  Anyone please.
SWAG 144.6 (4-4) vs OVERPRICED JACKASSES 97.3 (4-4):
SWAG doesn’t lose his 5^th in a row.  Boo.  Not Halloween, boo, but rather this sucks that I can’t rant and be excited about seeing SWAG lose 5 in a row.  Instead, he gets the win and costs Overpriced a chance at being in first.  SWAG now in his ultra horrible division is back within 1 game of first place.  He is relevant again.  This league sucks when SWAG is relevant.
CATCH22 91.7 (6-2) vs UDDERGUYS 76.6 (3-5):
Udderguys just made it two weeks in a row with low points.  This is a trend that he needs to change.  He is well over 100 points better than Haulin Ass overall, but another couple weeks like this, and Haulin Ass may stop writing is concession speech.  Meanwhile with the win, Catch22 owns the best record in the league by virtue of his early season 3-point win over Acme Scott.  The two teams with the best record are in the same division.  They’re mowing down the rest of the league.

PARADE OF MORONS:
So I have been told that Haulin Ass would like to give his acceptance speech for his parade showing.  He doesn’t like suspense, so he is calling it now. 
HAULIN ASS – 722.2:  He was atop this list last week and will likely be here for weeks to come.  He did gain a little ground on Udderguys, but that isn’t helping him at all.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs – 804.0:  She continues to be in the second spot but separated the gap a bit.  She beat her husband and then scored more points.
OVERPRICED JACKASSES – 840.3:  Even though he is well over 100 points from the last spot, it is still fun seeing him in this spot, and maybe sweat for a brief second.
UNHONORABLE MENTION:  UDDERGUYS – 853.0, BISS1 – 883.1, MARLBORO DROP – 901.2

THIS WEEK:
GAME OF THE WEEK:
ACME SCOTT (6-2) vs MARLBORO DROP (5-3) (5-5):
These two have played 10 times and would you believe neither of them have more than a 1 game winning streak.  That is right, it is win loss win loss, and nothing more.  So, with that said the winner is…Acme Scott.  He is due up.  Outside of that fact, this is a monster game for division and league supremacy.  That means this game’s winner could be set in a good position and the loser be out of first in their division and have a harder time for catching that first round bye.

RIVARLY GAME:
OVERPRICED JACKASSES (4-4) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS (2-6) (13-13-1):
This is a great rivalry game between two very proud people.  Overpriced who is our elder leader of spanking all of us Kroenings in Fantasy Football, and Worthless Bastards just spanked us kids for real.  I am kidding, he never laid a finger on us, he just poked us with the cattle prod.  These two have played 27 times, which is an odd number for some of you math geniouses (spelled perfectly for effect) and they have still managed some way to have a perfect record against each other.  Overpriced is hanging around with his sights on an upper playoff spot, meanwhile Worthless Bastards is wondering how high of a score will his opponent get this week. 

THE SCARY REST:
CRANKERS (3-5) vs CATCH22 (6-2) (9-8-1):
The best against the almost worst.  Catch22 has the current best record in the league in his defense of his last year title.  I meanwhile have a terrible record in defense against my almost worst record in the league last year.  Can I say championship?  Nope, no I can’t.  This game on paper will be a throttling.  This game in real lift will be a throttling.
SWAG (4-4) vs UDDERGUYS (3-5) (4-0):
This is a sneaky big game for upper playoffs.  SWAG, who just got his first win in 5 weeks, takes on a slumping Udderguys team.  Udderguys needs the win to be back in the upper playoff conversation.  A loss and he will be in an uphill battle, in syrup, with dance shoes on.  SWAG loses and we all smile.  Oh, Udderguys has never beaten SWAG, so this would be a fun time to break that curse.
SLIPPERY BOYS (5-3) vs HAULIN ASS (1-7) (12-18):
Slippery Boys is in first place all alone and working toward a first round bye.  Haulin Ass is in last place all alone and working on a speech.  Let’s see who wins this mega matchup.  PS to mention again, Slippery Boys is fresh off a heartbreaking loss.  Losing to Haulin Ass would be back breaking.  Let’s go asses.  See you can’t tell who I am cheering for now.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs (4-4) vs BISS1 (5-3) (0-0):
In this matchup of our youngest league members we have the “how is this happening” game.  Both teams have a much better record than we all would have assumed by their scores, but yet one is in first place and the other is a game out.  Another good sneaky game.  Let’s see who gets yet another, “How the hell did that just happen” victory.

WEEK 8: PAST HALFWAY.  POINT OF NO RETURN FOR SOME.

The last two weeks these things have been very short and quick due to two very different reasons.  Two weeks ago, I was in Ohio and didn’t have much time in between swearing at golf strokes to come up with anything coherent.  I was more frustrated at golf than Fantasy Football (which you know means I golfed like ass).  Last week, my nausea was so bad, I focused more on avoiding the letters p-u-k and e while composing this shit.  If you must know, it was fully self-induced and took 6 days to recover (I blame my wife).  This week I am doing something different again.  I am writing this all-in-one sitting and taking my time (unless I sneak a peek at a swimsuit pinup and need a “break”).  This year I have been writing this in chunks because it has been so nice outside.  I stop writing to take a walk or do yard work or sit in a lawn chair with the neighbors grumbling about how different the weather was when I grew up.  Over the last two weeks I haven’t spoken my mind.  So, let’s go.

Let’s get to the first topic of mind.  The Brewers!  I had to take some time after the thrashing the Brewers took.  A thrashing only experienced previously by Mike Tyson against Jake Paul.  I was admittedly upset as were many, but I stepped back and asked myself, did the Brewers do all that bad?  The answer is “Fuck Yeah”, they got fucking smoked.  But one series doesn’t define a season.  They broke records throughout the season.  Longest winning streak in franchise history, most wins ever by a Brewer team, the first ever pocket pancake, most wins by a team with a payroll less than female stripper in San Francisco, and on and on.  The Brewers woke up a fan base outside of Wisconsin who loves baseball and can identify that Milwaukee actually has a team.  They were the underdogs, the Davids, the Average Joes.  They didn’t deserve to be where they were.  They didn’t belong in the playoffs, which is what everyone was saying.  And in the end, they kind of proved it, but I still love the Brewers, I believe they had one hell of a season and have one hell of a skipper.  And not for nothing, they beat the Cubs when it counted most, and that can’t go unsaid.  As for David vs Goliath against the Dodgers, well this act wasn’t the same as the first one where David slew the monster with a slingshot to win the day.  This act had David’s slingshot break, snap into his eye, where the rock in the slings falls, hits him on the foot, and he falls forward writing in pain, as Goliath calmly walks up and steps on his head. In 2026 can we say championship, and 2027 can we say lockout.

Second topic of mind.  I want to mention that there will be no bottle next year, because last weekend I drank it.  I may or may not deserve it, but none-the-less I drank it.  And that is why last Thursday was the first day in 5 days that I didn’t have to panic shit.  And anyone who has drank themselves to bubbles foaming on the outside of your mouth while staring at the ceiling knows what I am talking about.

Last topic of mind.  I love you guys.  Well not Slippery Boys, or SWAG, or Show me you TDs, oh hey their all in my fucking division.  And have beaten me.  But you guys complete me.  When I am having a good day, I just think about Fantasy Football and that completes the full circle of hell, when I am driving and hit every light on green, I just think about having to play SWAG another time yet this year.  When you hit that perfect golf shot, I remember that I am battling for a 19^th straight season to not be in the cellar.  So, as I said, you guys complete me.

Each week we typically have some great matchups, but there is only one game that features teams above .500 and 1 game featuring two teams that look better on the back of a milk carton because they are lost.  All other games are above and below .500 which means that this could get real interesting depending on how these games flip throughout the day.  Good luck all you below .500 teams, let’s make this thing interesting.  But I will allow Overpriced to get the win.  Look at who he is playing.

LAST WEEK:
GAME OF THE WEEK
SLIPPERY BOYS 139.8 (5-2) vs OVERPRICED JACKASSES 84.1 (4-3):
The younger co-head coach made the right moves last week and put up some points.  While Overpriced didn’t quite show up.  If it weren’t for the abysmal performance by one Udderguys, Overpriced might have made a run at low points on the week.  Slippery Boys just keeps racking up the points with their team of people I can’t pronounce.  I can spell them with the help of AI, but I can’t say their names worth two shits.  I mean come on Skattebo?  Sounds like something you see in a scary movie when there is a jump scare.

RIVALRY GAME:
SWAG 119.1 (3-4) vs ACME SCOTT 147.5 (5-2):
SWAG is now a part of a 3-some.  He together with Haulin Ass and Shoy me Your TDs have all lost 4 in a row.  That’s fun for SWAG.  Acme gets the win and if it wasn’t for Worthless Bastards record run at points against, SWAG would be leading in that category.  Let’s see another monster point total for, hmmm, let’s say Overpriced Jackasses this week.

MORE TO COME:
CRANKERS 91.3 (2-5) vs BISS1 117.5 (4-3):
And as expected Rice comes back for his first week of action and scores two touchdowns.  Oh, and Biss1 has Mahomes, so fun week.  I was feeling very accomplished today, and then I wrote this section.  Remember you all complete me – assholes.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs 107.7 (3-4) vs UDDERGUYS 58.1 (3-4):
58.1?  Not since 2021 has anyone scored less than that point total, and you know who did that?  Yep, Udderguys at 54.  5 points less and you would have broken your own 2020s record.  Wow.  Oh, and SMYTD gets the win, by virtue of forfeit.  At least last week she had a much better challenger in her husband that scored 69 which is the second lowest total on the year thus far.  Man, I must have been hungover last week.  I didn’t even comment on Haulin Ass scoring 69.
CATCH22 131.0 (5-2) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS 127.7 (2-5):
Worthless Bastards needs to outscore the teams he is playing Cincinnati style.  I can only imagine him throwing remotes, cussing in front of children, getting frustrated and wanting the TV turned off only to turn it back on and notice things are getting worse.  He may be the best 2-5 team this league has ever seen.  And I would give him the bottle if I hadn’t drunk it last weekend.  Meanwhile Catch22 won.
HAULIN ASS 80.4 (1-6) vs MARLBORO DROP 155.7 (5-2):
I said on paper this looks like a Badgers vs Ohio State blowout, and I was wrong.  This was a Badgers vs Philadelphia Eagles blow out.  I guess a 75-point victory will do that.  Marlboro gets high points on the week, while Haulin Ass barely showed up. 

PRIDE PARADE PROCESSION:
This is our first installment of Parade watch 2025, and as shocking as it may sound, Udderguys is not in the equation…yet.  Give him time (58 points – I mean come on).  Remember if you lose and would not like to ride in a parade then you must get dumped on by a bucket of icy cold water and pay $100 to our Alcoholics in the open fund.  We aren’t anonymous.
HAULIN ASS 644.3:  In commanding leads discussion this is like the 2015-16 Warriers who won 73 games in the NBA.  No one touched them that year.  And no one (including SMYTD is going to touch you).
SHOW MY YOUR TDs 709.00:  At roughly 50 points better than Haulin Ass, she needs to keep scoring to fend him off, but SMYTD has been scoring points these past few weeks, so seems like a tall hill to climb for Haulin Ass to catch her.
OVERPRICED JACKASSES 743.0:  Seriously?  You’re in this conversation.  Something must be wrong with this league.
UNHONORABLE MENTION:  Biss1 – 751.7, Acme Scott – 753.8, Crankers - 768.8.    

THIS WEEK:
GAME OF THE WEEK:
SLIPPERY BOYS (5-2) vs BISS1 (4-3) (3-0):
This is the best that I have to work with?  A team that has never beaten Slippery Boys in the game of the week?  Slippery Boys seems to be in the game of the week every week.  This is embarrassing, but all other games feature teams that are shitty, so this one wins by default.  Both teams are above .500 but if you look under the covers, you will see a small penis by Slippery Boys’ elder coach, and a game that should be a throttling.  Slippery Boys will win yet again.  Stupid league.

RIVALRY GAME:
ACME SCOTT (5-2) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS (2-5) (17-15):
We have Kroening vs Kroening.  Unlike the game above where the better record will win, the elder Kroening has a terrible record, but I would say a good shot to win.  Acme is up and down all year, but Worthless has been scoring points.  Acme is in the far-reaching discussion of low points, while Worthless is not.  So, if Acme wants to win even though he is 3 games ahead of his Fasha, he is going to have to set a good lineup.  But if history has told us anything, Acme will score 220.

THE OTHER SHITTY GAMES!
CRANKERS (2-5) vs HAULIN ASS (1-6) (15-11):
Speaking of small penises or is it peni, I don’t know.  We have another Kroening vs Kroening.  But this game doesn’t matter.  The loser is likely in the cellar, and the winner is likely playing the rest of the season out with his pecker.  Both teams suck, both teams don’t know how to score, both teams can’t beat SMYTD, might as well just give up now and call this one a tie.  A loss and assuredly the upper playoffs are a wisp in the wind (I needed to add a bit of poetic pizazz).  A win and you’re still fucked (and I’m back).
SHOW ME YOUR TDs (3-4) vs MARLBORO DROP (5-2) (0-0):
Here we go.  SMYTD is on a two-game winning streak and has a chance to get back to .500, but she is not facing a team that scores less than 70 like her previous two opponents.  She is going to need to score points, because Marlboro last week would have beat Udderguys and Haulin ass if they combined points – by a wide margin.  Marlboro needs a W to stay in the hunt for a first round bye and best record Can you believe a girl might be in his way?
SWAG (3-4) vs OVERPRICED JACKASSES (4-3) (1-3):
SWAG got his first victory ever last year against Overpriced.  He will have to make that 2 in a row, to not have lost his 5^th, that is what I said, 5^th game in a row.  SWAG is kind of embarrassing our division.  He goes 3-0 in the division and hasn’t won a game since.  It makes our division look terrible, ah who am I kidding, if it weren’t for Slippery Boys our division is terrible.  Overpriced meanwhile is in a very tough division and needs wins to stay relevant.
CATCH22 (5-2) vs UDDERGUYS (3-4) (6-8):
This is your Jekyll and Hyde matchup.  Udderguys scored an extremely low amount last week (if you’re first finding out), but he is still not in the bottom 6 season points for which means he has scored serious points other weeks.  Catch22 is no slouch getting an eeked out victory last week.  This matchup is a sneaky big one.  Udderguys gets the win, and he might just become relevant again.

FUN FACTO FO THE WEEK:
A lost Picasso found in some obscure location is valued at over $20 million.  I mean come on, have you ever seen one of this guy’s more famous paintings?  They look like someone doodled on an Etch-a-sketch and they are worth millions?  By the way this is Pablo Picasso’s real name.  Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso.  And we all just have 3.

WEEK 7:  AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE BADGER FOOTBALL TO WATCH!

LAST WEEK
GAME OF THE WEEK:
SLIPPERY BOYS 173.3 (4-2) vs CATCH22 153.0 (4-2):
This was definitely a matchup of two titans.  Catch22 gets hit in the mouth, while scoring one of the highest point totals in a loss.  153 should most certainly get you an easy W, but instead this point total produced a 20-point loss.  Slippery breaks our early season mark for most points in a game and makes sure at least one of us knew that (Hint: it was me).  Slippery is now tied with a boat load of teams at 4-2, which includes Catch22.  The season is coming to the midway point and wins against each other are looking to be very important.  Twat!

RIVALRY GAME:
SHOW ME YOUR TDs 89.6 (2-4) vs HAULIN ASS 69.6 (1-5):
Haulin got his first win two weeks ago but can’t muster a second.  He drops a big deuce in this matchup and loses to his wife.  They will not play each other again, (unless they meet in the playoffs) so SMYTD has bragging rights for quite some time.  It wasn’t like SMYTD put up huge points, it was the love and affection that Haulin Ass has for her by scoring the least number of points on the season and letting her win.  And if you believe Haulin Ass let her win I have some prime swamp land to sell you.

HEEEEERRRRRREEEEES’S THE REST OF THEM!
CRANKERS 88.0 (2-4) vs MARLBORO DROP 128.4 (4-2):
At one point I didn’t think I would get to the 60s much less almost hitting 90.  But alas it didn’t matter as Marlboro got an easy 40-point victory for his 4^th win of the year.  He also ends a 2-game skid while Crankers continue the skids in his pants.  I wanted the win so I could become relevant, but now I must battle to stay out of last.
SWAG 109.2 (3-3) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS 141.9 (2-4):
SWAG has now dropped 3 in a row.  After looking like he might be the team to beat, he has some work to do to get back to relevance for best record.  Meanwhile Worthless, although still a long way from the top, gets a feather in his cap with this win.  This victory might make for some tie breaking fodder later in the season if these two stay close in record.    
ACME SCOTT 90.4 (4-2) vs BISS1 84.9 (3-3):
Acme Scott gets the narrow victory in this anti slobber knocker.  It was a defensive affair, as Acme gets the W.  Biss1 falls to 3-3 and will fight in the middle of the pack, while Acme climbs back into first place. 
OVERPRICED JACKASSES 110.5 (4-2) vs UDDERGUYS 85.8 (3-3):
Udderguys falls again to overpriced jackasses.  Overpriced keeps racking up the victories against Udderguys and with this most recent one, vaults back into first place.  Meanwhile Udderguys falls to .500 and will look to get back on track by beating a girl this week.

THIS WEEK
GAME OF THE WEEK
SLIPPERY BOYS (4-2) vs OVERPRICED JACKASSES (4-2) (12-14):
This game features two first place teams duking it out.  It will come down to which Overpriced team shows up.  Overpriced is in first so you assume that his team will score points, but he is almost 100 points behind Slippery in overall points for, so it seems he will need to score a lot of points to get this win.  On the other side you know what you get from Slippery Boys, and their duo coaching threat.  It almost seems that they are cheating with their two-coach setup.  At least we can say one thing, we know which coach has the brains in that duo.

RIVALRY GAME:
SWAG (3-3) vs ACME SCOTT (4-2) (2-2):
This game may not be as much rivalry and more game of the week number 2.  Although from a rivalry perspective, these two have played each other in a championship game and have an equal record, where Acme got the first two wins and SWAG got the last two, one of which was that championship I mentioned.  Acme is in a tight, tight division in first place, while SWAG is in 2^nd with an active three-game losing streak and a team above him looking poised to not slow down.  They both really need this win, so fireworks, here they come.

MORE TO COME:
CRANKERS (2-4) vs BISS1 (3-3) (2-4):
Biss1 has the edge in this short-lived rivalry by 2 games.  And PS none of those victories were close.  So, for me to not have a repeat I will need to start the team from 2 weeks ago when I was above 150 instead of the team last week where I was sweating bullets that I wasn’t going to hit 70.  Biss1 is fighting to stay near the top, so he needs a victory.  What a great time for Rice to make his first appearance of the year.  I was hoping he was going to beat someone else up to at least sit out another week.
SHOW ME YOUR TDs (2-4) vs UDDERGUYS (3-3) (0-0):
SMYTD is 2-1 vs Kroenings and well, not so well against the non-Kroening factor.  Lucky for SMYTD this week she takes on another Kroening.  This one is one of the better Kroening teams as Udderguys is not in the conversation on low points this year and has a .500 record.  A win by SMYTD and it will be a brutal hit to Udderguys’ “other guys”, and a boost for our female leader.
CATCH22 (4-2) vs WORTHLESS BASTARDS (2-4) (9-11):
The first 6 meetings of these two, Catch22 was 0fer.  He has since climbed back in this annual matchup to an almost .500 record by winning 4 of the last 5.  Worthless got his second win last week with some serious points, getting into the 140s and taking down a strong SWAG team, while Catch22 lost, but with 153 points.  So, this game looks to have some potential intriguing storylines for potential outcomes.
HAULIN ASS (1-5) vs MARLBORO DROP (4-2) (7-3):
This game doesn’t scream rivalry, but there seems to be a bit underneath.  Of the 6 years Marlboro has been in our league he has been in the same division as Haulin Ass in 4 of them.  Also there have been quite a few close games.  The only negative for Marlboro is that he has lost the last 5 to Haulin Ass.  On paper this looks like a Badgers vs Ohio State blowout, but history is on Haulin Ass’ side.  Let’s see how this plays out.