© 1995-2024 RealTime Fantasy Sports, Inc.
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Additional Rules:
JOKESTER FOOTBALL
$100.00 Franchise fee.
Transactions: $5 per occurrence
Trading and waiver acquisition deadline: Last weekend of the season for all teams still in the playoff hunt.
Trading will be prohibited by teams once they are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
ALL TRADES/TRANSACTIONS SUBJECT TO APPROVAL OF HEAD JOKER.
Should his sense of humor not jive with the trading GMs they may call for a league vote. A 2/3 majority is required to over ride his esteemd clowness.
In the event of a trade, transactions fees apply to both GMs. You do not have to trade position for position, however, you must always maintain a minimum STARTING roster. Moreover, you cannot carry more than the maximum number of position players (excepting IR players). If you activate a player from IR and the position is full, you must immediately drop or trade to make room for the in-coming player. Once an player on IR appears in a game, they must be activated the following Tuesday and the appropriate roster adjustments made.
The "Special" Game Rule:
If a player is to appear on a Thursday night game, the GM must declare prior to game time, if the player is to start, unless the player is a carry over from the previous week. If the player is a carry over, and the GM fails to replace him prior to the game, the GM is bound to that player's point total and cannot replace him in their starting line-up for that week's game.
The "Crying Simpson Rule"
If a trade is made and the GM fails to submit a new line-up the following week, the player's position will carry over. Ex. If your number one RB is traded after starting the previous week, the new player will take his spot for carry over purposes.
The "Pizza Boy's Late Rule"
In the event a GM fails to enter a line up for two consecutive weeks, the office of the O/C will take over management of the team. Should that team earn any honors or money, the League will share in them equally. At the year's end, a vote will be taken to determine whether the quitter scum GM will forfeit his/her franchise.
The Emergency Poltroon Rule
In the event a GM fails to show for draft day, the office of the O/C will assume control of the absent GM's franchise. The GMs in attendance will each make draft selections until the roster is full. During the course of the year, each GM will in succession choose a starting line-up for the new League team. The team will receive a special League name chosen on the spot. In the event the League's team should finish in the money, the proceeds will be used to sponsor the awards ceremony at a local bar or eatery.
The "Soft Taco Incentive"
Once a team is mathematically eliminated from the JFL Tournament, that franchise will be afforded the opportunity to acquire players free of charge. This free pass will not cover IR fees, nor provide a loophole for the trading prohibition.
The Oppression Inherent in the System Rule Group
1. Those who fail to show for the awards ceremony AND/OR fail to arrange for their League fees to be presented to the Champ at said ceremony, will pay an additional $25.00 for the following year's franchise fee.
2. Those who fail to show for the awards ceremony AND/OR fail to arrange for their League fees to be presented to the Champ at said ceremony, will draft no higher than fifth regardless of their pulled number on draft day.
3. Those who fail to show for the awards ceremony AND/OR fail to arrange for their League fees to be presented to the Champ at said ceremony will have their team name chosen for them on the following draft day by the Champ.
4. Those who fail to show for the awards ceremony AND/OR fail to arrange for their League fees to be presented to the Champ at said ceremony for two consecutive years will be dropped from the League on general principle.
The Accountability Rule aka Kordell Cannot Horde Them All Rule
A GM may NOT IR a player for any reason other than appearing on the injury list. Suspensions, alien abductions, or sudden retirements to avoid incarceration do not qualify the player as "injured".
The Pussy Party Rule
When any GM, or group of GMs, is trusted with League Party planning privileges and in any way fails to meet his/her/their responsibilities in the coordination, hosting, supplying, or otherwise making the party happen they shall be subject to any or all of the following:
1. The Immediate Renaming of their franchise by the offended League members on Draft Day
2. Pay an additional entrance fee of $25.00 here to be known as the "Pussy Penalty"
3. Be excluded from all League events but forced to viddy said events via the Ludovico Technique
Don't Cry for Me Argentina Rule
When the winner of any JFL tournament fails to show for the Awards Party for reasons OTHER than their own death, the impending demise of an immediate family, or the Zombie Apocalypse, combined with a failure to arrange for a proxy or electronic facsimile of their likeness to be present, they shall be subject to any or all of the following:
1. Forfeiture of their winnings here to be known as the "Descamisado Redistribution"
2. To have their listing on the Smokey augmented with the glyph † or ‡ to indicate their spiritual death
3. Dismissal from the League
Executive Order FU2007
By the authority vested in me as Commissioner and Plenipotentiary of the Jokester Football League by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the Fantasy Football Emergency Economic Powers Act, as amended (50 U.S.C. 1701 et seq.) (FFEEPA), the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1601 et seq.), section 5 of the United Nations Participation Act, as amended (22 U.S.C. 287c) (UNPA), and section 301 of title 3, United States Code, I, Bozo E. Booz Commissioner and Plenipotentiary of the Jokester Football League, find that the continuous failure of owners to take financial responsibility for their lack of football acumen presents an imminent threat to the Development Fund for legitimate Champions of the Jokester Football League (JFL). This situation constitutes an unusual and extraordinary threat to the sanity and general good humor of the lawful participants of the JFL and the foreign/domestic policy of the United States; therefore I hereby declare a national emergency to deal with that threat. I hereby order:
Section 1. All owners will now present Franchise fee, extra player taxes, and any and all penalties prior to being allowed to draft.
Section 2. All owners are expected to be physically present on draft day. Should this not be possible, arrangements for fees and electronic drafting will be made one week prior in order to give the O/C sufficient time to replace their sorry ass should they miss the deadline.
Executive Order FU2009
By the authority vested in me as Commissioner and Plenipotentiary of the Jokester Football League by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the Fantasy Football Emergency Morality Powers Act, as amended (69 U.S.C. 420 et seq.) (FEMA), the National Emergencies Act (89 U.S.C. 150 et seq.), section 3.1 of the Homeland Security Bill, I, Bozo E. Booz Commissioner and Plenipotentiary of the Jokester Football League, find that the continuous failure of owners to manage their rosters in a just and moral fashion do hereby declare an addendum to the established rule known as “The Accountability Rule aka Kordell Cannot Horde Them All Rule” which shall be known simply as “Thou Shall Activate Before Insertion Rule” and states:
A GM who is carrying a player on IR who has become eligible for play, must first activate the player from the IR, and if applicable, drop any replacement players prior to acquiring any new players from the free agent pool or engaging in any trades. The addendum is intended to shine a light on any rat fink who attempts to gain competitive advantage by tinkering with the maximum player rule for each position.
Executive Order FU2012
By the authority vested in me as Commissioner and Plenipotentiary of the Jokester Football League by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the Fantasy Football Emergency National Pride Act, as amended (36 U.S.C. 428 et seq.) (FFEMPA), the National Jingo Act (50 U.S.C. 1601 et seq.), section 2.1 of the United Nations Jihad Act, as amended (13 U.S.C. U.W. 16) (UNGA), I, Bozo E. Booz Commissioner and Plenipotentiary of the Jokester Football League, in reaction those who besmirch the good name of the vendors upon whom this League trusts its electronic presence, do hereby create the "Arab Spring" aka "The Sanctity of the Platform Rule" and states:
Any GM or cabal of GMs who openly question the efficacy or value of the JFL platform during the season to the detriment of League moral shall be sacked as the dirty infadel he/she/they are.
Playoffs
Two divisions winners and four wild cards based on overall record. Division winners get 1st round byes.
Wild card seeds are based solely on record and will play in the 1st Round.
The 2nd round match ups will also be based on records. However, division winners CANNOT face one another.
The Championship Game & Runner up cheese match will constitute the 3rd round.
Same structure and rules apply to the Jokester Invitational Tournament
Rotisserie: Based on total points acquired by the team's starting lineups through week 14 of the regular season
JFL Tie breaks:
1. Head to head
2. Total Points
3. Division Record
4. Coin toss or GM wrestling match. Method decided by GMs in question.
Pay out:
THE CHAMPIONS will recieve a huge chunk of JFL cash, and earn the right to be memorialized on and keep "Old Smokey" for one year.
2. THE USELESS JFL runners up receive a smaller but not insignificant chunk of JFL cash.
3.THE SHOW spot in the JFL Tourney garners the “Thanks for Playing” return of their entry fee
4. THE JIT Champion (aka the Alan Bailey Memorial Champion) receives no cash but is afforded the right to pick their draft position the following year and the pride of winning the vaunted souvenir trophy. After all, aren't these things more valuable than a silly stack of cash and having your team name inscribed for eternity on "Old Smokey"?
Draft Structure
The JFL employs the superior and most righteous form of the Snake draft whereby after drafting a complete first team, the proceedings are brought to a close. This is done mainly to allow the Commissioner to “get on top of his hallucinogens.” The draft is then “reset” for the start of the second round with the #1 position again picking…first!
History:
The JFL was created in 1953 by Commissioner Bozo with a mere two teams.
The Fly by Night Tricksters and The Chronic Underachievers were spawned in the aftermath of a drunken brawl over what city (San Jose or San Diego) would eventually develop the greatest professional football franchise. Over 40 years later, the Chronic is still wrong. In the years that followed, the French Existentialists and Pinko Commies joined in. The latter squads were added to bring perspective to the reoccurring disputes over socio-political theory that threatened the harmony of the League and the world.
The JFL was completely dominated by the Tricksters until expansion diluted the talent pool in 1998. That year, six more teams were added, with an additional two the following year. Also in 1998, the Jokester Invitational Tournament was created because it was clear, some teams simply played for pride and not money. Sure skeptics called this a "losers tourney" yet that amounted to little more than hyperbole from honorless GM's.
Expansion has come with a hefty price. Rampant drug use, infidelity, gross work place violations, and gambling addictions have scarred many a great franchise (mostly the French). Sadly, just before the opening of the 2002 campaign, an intervention gone awry caused the French to further isolate their position in the global market renouncing the JFL as an extension of a corrupt system whose boot was firmly upon their necks. The French was dead to us, but there was always a place next to the fried food table for our shamelessly drunk malcontent, in hopes of his return. True to its form, the League created by the affable little clown Bozo, continued on in the spirit of love and togetherness.
In 2005 the mighty French after completing Tony Robbins’ three-year academy "Self Love & Healing" rejoined the League's round table. While there was much rejoicing, the fare members of the round quickly learned little had changed within the dark soul of the French. His Beelzebub like qualities quickly led to the disgruntlement of the Chronic Underachievers and to exposing Mr. Kotter as the welcher scum this League knew and hated. As a natural consequence, Mr. Kotter’s place at the round was given to a new franchise (ostensibly for betting on Michael Vick's dog fighting ring), and failing to pay GM Taco his rightful winnings at the end of the 2006 season.
In 2007 the years of antidepressant abuse finally caught up with GM Simpson. After two consecutive years of crying on the phone during the draft, the Chronic decided to hang up his heels. Numerous surgeries and identity changes could not help Simpson escape the childhood trauma of his wastrel father. As such, he seldom contributed to the league coffers, and bemoaned any change in the League that inspired spendthrift behavior or required GMs to pay attention to their teams after draft day. His departure while sad, was well timed because unlike Brett Favre, Simpson knows when to quit, that is one thing he has perfected.
In 2010, the League was once again graced with GM Simpson’s presence. Finding a more long-term solution to his fits of PPD and philandering allowed for time in his day for the camaraderie of men and the smell of competition. The joy of his return was somewhat tempered by the discovery GM Heil (in violation of several international intellectual property covenants), had appropriated the Chronic Underachiever nameplate for his own. Now a man who makes lemonade from anything remotely citrus, GM Simpson took inspiration from the national epidemic of prostrate cancer in choosing the new moniker for his team. Never again would he look back to his storied underachieving days.
The 2011 campaign proved to be one of the more turbulent in JFL history. The grand domination plan of GM Heil hit the skids when his hand picked camarilla fell short in their efforts to hijack the League to the proletarianized ESPN. The subsequent weeping and gnashing of teeth exhibited by the Kordellians was promptly followed on by an alienation from the League’s Bacchanalian core. Confronting the insurection head on, the Jokester faithful pursued the Macedonian rite of counsel and discussed the future of the Kordellians first sober, and then drunk. GM Lamm, who had known the wrath of League expungement first hand, lobbied for the dismissal of the Kordellian horde on general principle, and his proposition was lifted forth by all in attendance. Alas 2011 shall heretofore be known as the Year of the Great Debarment as four team were locked out. The League shed a small tear, passed a glass of Manischewitz, and lit a scented candle in hopes GM Heil, and his little buddy GM Rounds (after under going a proper reeducation program) would return to the fold. The other participants would remain dead to us.
Just prior to the 2012 campaign, the Manischewitz incantation (having invoked Esther & Mordechai), brought both GM Rounds & Heil back to the JFL. Each having submitted to a rigorous program on civics and clownology brought forth a new commitment to all things Jokester. Their franchises were renamed in the spirit of League fraternity and loyalty. There was much rejoicing.
In 2017, while celebrating the general feelings of fraternity and good will at the mid-year party, GM Welton invoked the name of the long lost GM of the Pinko Commies (and JIT Memorial namesake) Alan Bailey. After a general uproar and hearty "Huzzah" Sir Welton (an unofficial title garnered from a Wheaties box top competition) called what was believed to be a defunct cell number while uttering an ancient Christian Science incantation. Low and behold this act resurrected Bailey who not only answered, but joined the League festivities later at Jokester Headquarters. It would take two additional years before GM Bailey would return to human form and be liberated from the clutches of his siren jailor. He would rejoin the League as an honorary co-GM of the Fly By Night Trickster organization in 2019. His name would remain on the JIT tourney for no one was really sure if GM Bailey was among us or just a collective hallucination.
The esteemed Office of the Commissioner has been a sanctuary for the pure of heart, and a safe haven for those in need. Some claim the O/C is a den of inequity and the Commissioner is little more than a drug addled philanderer. However, these claims haven't been substantiated by either film, photo, or DNA evidence. The JFL under the careful tutelage of Commissioner Bozo, continues to stand as a symbol of brotherly love, fairness, and God's gift of competition. A shining example for all the world to emulate.
| Min | Max | |
|---|---|---|
| Quarterback | 1 | 2 |
| Running Back | 2 | 4 |
| Wide Receiver | 2 | 4 |
| Tight End | 2 | 2 |
| Head Coach | 0 | 2 |
| Kicker | 1 | 2 |
| Defense/Sp Team | 1 | 2 |
| Quarterback | 1 |
| Running Back | 2 |
| Wide Receiver | 2 |
| Tight End | 1 |
| Kicker | 1 |
| Defense/Sp Team | 1 |
| Head Coach | 1 |
| Week 1 | Fri Mar 1 12:00am ET | thru | Mon Sep 9 8:00pm ET |
| Week 2 | Tue Sep 10 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Sep 16 8:00pm ET |
| Week 3 | Tue Sep 17 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Sep 23 8:00pm ET |
| Week 4 | Tue Sep 24 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Sep 30 8:00pm ET |
| Week 5 | Tue Oct 1 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Oct 7 8:00pm ET |
| Week 6 | Tue Oct 8 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Oct 14 8:00pm ET |
| Week 7 | Tue Oct 15 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Oct 21 8:00pm ET |
| Week 8 | Tue Oct 22 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Oct 28 8:00pm ET |
| Week 9 | Tue Oct 29 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Nov 4 8:00pm ET |
| Week 10 | Tue Nov 5 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Nov 11 8:00pm ET |
| Week 11 | Tue Nov 12 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Nov 18 8:00pm ET |
| Week 12 | Tue Nov 19 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Nov 25 8:00pm ET |
| Week 13 | Tue Nov 26 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Dec 2 8:00pm ET |
| Week 14 | Tue Dec 3 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Dec 9 8:00pm ET |
| Playoff Week 1 | Tue Dec 10 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Dec 16 8:00pm ET |
| Playoff Week 2 | Tue Dec 17 7:00am ET | thru | Mon Dec 23 8:00pm ET |
| Playoff Week 3 | Tue Dec 24 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 29 8:00pm ET |
| Week 1 | Fri Mar 1 12:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 8 1:00pm ET |
| Week 2 | Wed Sep 11 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 15 1:00pm ET |
| Week 3 | Wed Sep 18 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 22 1:00pm ET |
| Week 4 | Wed Sep 25 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 29 1:00pm ET |
| Week 5 | Wed Oct 2 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 6 1:00pm ET |
| Week 6 | Wed Oct 9 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 13 1:00pm ET |
| Week 7 | Wed Oct 16 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 20 1:00pm ET |
| Week 8 | Wed Oct 23 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 27 1:00pm ET |
| Week 9 | Wed Oct 30 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 3 1:00pm ET |
| Week 10 | Wed Nov 6 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 10 1:00pm ET |
| Week 11 | Wed Nov 13 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 17 1:00pm ET |
| Week 12 | Wed Nov 20 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 24 1:00pm ET |
| Week 13 | Wed Nov 27 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 1 1:00pm ET |
| Week 14 | Wed Dec 4 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 8 1:00pm ET |
| Playoff Week 1 | Wed Dec 11 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 15 1:00pm ET |
| Playoff Week 2 | Wed Dec 18 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 22 1:00pm ET |
| Playoff Week 3 | Wed Dec 25 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 29 1:00pm ET |
| Offseason | Wed Jan 1 10:00am ET | thru | Sun Jan 5 1:00pm ET |
| Week 1 | Fri Mar 1 12:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 8 1:00pm ET |
| Week 2 | Tue Sep 10 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 15 1:00pm ET |
| Week 3 | Tue Sep 17 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 22 1:00pm ET |
| Week 4 | Tue Sep 24 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Sep 29 1:00pm ET |
| Week 5 | Tue Oct 1 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 6 1:00pm ET |
| Week 6 | Tue Oct 8 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 13 1:00pm ET |
| Week 7 | Tue Oct 15 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 20 1:00pm ET |
| Week 8 | Tue Oct 22 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Oct 27 1:00pm ET |
| Week 9 | Tue Oct 29 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 3 1:00pm ET |
| Week 10 | Tue Nov 5 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 10 1:00pm ET |
| Week 11 | Tue Nov 12 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 17 1:00pm ET |
| Week 12 | Tue Nov 19 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Nov 24 1:00pm ET |
| Week 13 | Tue Nov 26 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 1 1:00pm ET |
| Week 14 | Tue Dec 3 7:00am ET | thru | Sun Dec 8 1:00pm ET |
| General | |
|---|---|
| League Entry | $100 |
| Wins and Losses | |
| Losses | $0 |
| Ties | $0 |
| Wins Credit | $0 |
| Roster Moves | |
| Each Player Acquired | $5 |
| Each Player Acquired via Waivers | $0 |
| Each Player Acquired via Free Agency | $0 |
| Each Player Released | $0 |
| Each Player Placed on I/R | $5 |
| Each Player Activated from I/R | $10 |
| Lineup Moves | |
| Each Player Started | $0 |
| Each Player Benched | $0 |
| Trades | |
| Each Trade | $5 |
| Each Player Traded Away | $0 |
| Each Player Traded For | $0 |
© 1995-2024 RealTime Fantasy Sports, Inc.
If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, help is available.
Call (1-800-GAMBLER).
https://rtsports.com/fantasy-football-league/70812