Da Business

Bye weeks continue week 6 and will run through week 14. Plan accordingly. Two more weeks of International Games on the schedule. Be cognizant of NFL kick-off times for the International Games week 6 and week 7. No line up deadlines. Waiver wire runs on Thursdays, 5 pm PT/8 pm ET. Each team is permitted a maximum of two adds. Must include a drop for each add. No drops. No adds. Each player added is 5 bucks. No scraps. Waiver wire order is reverse order of points standing. Twelve through one round 1. Twelve through one round two. Weekly trade deadline is Fridays 9pm PT/midnight ET. Entry fee is 100 U.S. Dollars. You can Venmo me @Harold-Wenz. Look for the bearded guy wearing a Maybe Next Year t-shirt. Also, I accept PayPal and Zelle. And also, an old-fashioned check in the mail always works.

For The Record

Partial Abstinence - Abstaining from certain types of sexual activity, such as intercourse but allowing for other forms of intimacy.

Prophylactic - any device or preparation, such as a condom, which is designed to prevent conception.

Accountability - principle according to which a person or institution is responsible for a set of duties and can be required to give an account of their fulfilment to an authority that is in a position to issue rewards or punishment.

Team Responsibility - a shared duty for a group of people to accomplish a common goal, with each member contributing specific tasks and duties as part of their defined role within the team. Clearly defined responsibilities prevent confusion, promote accountability, and streamline the workflow, leading to increased productivity and success for the team.

Dependability – reliable; able to be trusted to do or provide what is needed. Dependability is very important in a team environment.

Selfishness - a concern for one's own welfare or advantage at the expense of or in disregard of others.

October – the 10^th month in the Gregorian calendar. A month in which, if you are a member of an MLB franchise, you want to be available for your teammates. Especially if you are an important factor in the team’s success in reaching the World Series.

Call me ridiculous but is it too much to ask for Josh Naylor to have kept it in his pants from let’s say Jan 15^th to February 15^th. Only 30 days. That’s all I’m asking for is 30 days of partial abstinence. Regardless of what MLB team he was a member of at the time of conception, I think the month of October is a pretty important and critical month in the baseball season. You play 162 games a year with one sole purpose in mind. To make it to and win the World Series. You don’t need to be a nuclear physicist to look at a calendar and ask for blowjobs only in January and February. Just saying. We got Geno’s good vibes only. Naylor should have had blowjobs only. How ‘bout a couple of 68’s? Those are my favorite. A blowjob and I owe you one.

Trash or Treasure

Day Spa had Mac Jones and threw him away. Toe Cheese was rifling through the Trash last week and was like, lookie here what I found. Now that’s a Ritz! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Did he doubt or did he try? Answers aplenty in the bye-and-bye. Talk about your plenty, talk about your ills. One man gathers what another man spills. Trash turned treasure – Rico Doddle with 206 yards and a tuddy. Yikes. Last week we had a Woody replacing a Chubb. This week we got a Doddle replacing a Hubbard. Will the real Ja’Marr Chase please stand up, please stand up. Garbage time makes treasures of us all. Commish’s comeback player of the year making a comeback. Don’t call it a comeback. He’s been there for years. He’s rocking his peers, putting suckas in fear. Making the tears rain down like a monsoon. Listen to the bass go boom.

Around the NFL – Week 5

It was NFL Breaking Bad in week 5. The Eagles lost this week to the Denver Broncos. First Eagles loss since December 22^nd, 2024. First Broncos win in Philadelphia since 1986. Eagles were one of two undefeated teams left. The other undefeated team also lost as the Patriots hand the Bills their first loss of the 2025 NFL season. There were two winless teams entering week 5. Now there remains only one winless team as the Titans beat the Cardinals, leaving only the Jets in search of their first win. What happened to the Hawks homefield advantage? Double yikes. Hawks drop another home game to the Bucs and are now 4-8 at home since Pete Carrol’s departure. Hawks on the road in week 6 and then get the Texans in week 7. Vikings are 5-0 lifetime in London. Reminder to self. Take the Vikes money line when they play in London. Speaking of betting odds, the Colts pre-season odds to win the AFC were +4000 and they just keep rolling. The Colts were 6 for 6 scoring TDs in the redzone against the Raiders. I’d say that was pretty good. Well, they couldn’t kick any FGs cuz their kicker got hurt. And the Raiders punter also got hurt in the game. I wonder if the NFL has a stat for that? How many times a kicker and punter were injured in the same game? The Texans were also 8 for 8 in scoring drives vs the Ravens. Sneaky stat of the week. Keenan Allen fastest player in NFL history with 1,000 receptions in 159 games, surpassing Marvin Harrison’s mark of 167 games. Puka Nacua on pace for 177 receptions this season and 2000 yards receiving. Both would be new NFL records. The current record for single-season receptions is held by Mike Thomas with 149 and no WR has ever had more than 1,964 yards in a season. Dillon Gabriel was the 41^st QB to start a game for the Cleveland Browns since 1999, the year they came back into the NFL after losing their franchise. And let’s finish with unicorns and rainbows. Congratulations to Spencer Rattler as he picks up his first NFL win of his career, now 1-10 as an NFL starting QB.

THFFL Week 5 Recap – Don’t Stop Believing

Workin' hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill. Payin' anything to roll the dice, just one more time. Don’t stop believing. Hold on to that feeling. The 1972 Miami Dolphins can pop the champagne yet another year as the NFL is guaranteed to not have an undefeated team in 2025. For the double parlay, since the inception of this Commish’s fantasy football concoction which spans 30 years and three leagues, there will not be an undefeated team as the last two remaining undefeated teams fall in week 5. THFFL week 5 breaking bad. In game one, TWT comes from behind on Monday Night riding Patrick Mahome’s 36-burger to take down Danger Russ 139-132. All Danger Russ could do was hope that Mahome’s didn’t put up 30-points, as they had no counter in the Nighter. It was Mahomes or bust for TWT and TWTs overall first rounder delivered with a vengeance. Sam Darnold also with a 30-burger and CMC with his 5^th consecutive double-digit performance of the season. Rumor has it that the Niners have replaced their former physical trainer with a whole new staff led by Dr. Flex McStretcherson. A rough week for Danger Russ as they only had two starters with 20+ and an unfortunate Brock Bowers bagel. The much-anticipated return of Chris Godwin has been non-existent with back-to-back duds. In the second game featuring the last undefeated team Uncle Rico defeats Toe Cheese 136-119. Rico, much like Danger Russ could only sit and watch on Monday Night and hope that Brian Thomas didn’t put up a 26-burger as they clung to a 136-111 margin. Thomas with his highest receiving total of the year, but the 8 points was only a third of what Dorito Toes needed to stay undefeated. A battle of QBs in this match-up with burgers galore as Toe Cheese’s QBs combining for 57 and Rico’s combo combining for 50. The game of the week featured two Boston Beaners as Astral and Day Spa squared off in a highly competitive barn burner. This game was a nail biter that had Day Spa up one point, 159-158 after Sunday Night. But Astral had fired all his bullets and there was nothing left but the Monday Night Moop Show. Another great showing by Javonte “Diamond in the Ruff” Williams for Astral, but Chase’s week 5 eruption and JSN’s 22 points was a critical game changer for Day Spa. Both teams are now at 3-2 and in a logjam with the Moss Head in the battle for the Dabs Division Title. Joining Toe Cheese and Danger Russ at 4-1 are the Passing Scoobie Doobies as they make short work of the fading Number 9 with a 32-point victory, 135-103. Number 9 was looking to kick-start the offense with the unorthodox TE maneuver of benching Travis Kelce in favor of Zach Ertz. N9 testing the old adage of always starting your players against the Chargers, unless that player is Zach Ertz. Not that it would have made a difference as the Scoobs just had too much fire power. Even with a one QB starting lineup, an impressive 135 output for the Doobies as they continue their dominance of the THFFL improving to 4-1. Emeka Egbuka looking like the steal of the draft in 2025. Speaking of not following the rules, Saquon broke like every possible Commish fantasy rule in the book. Three-name RB against the Chargers while playing the Commish on the bench with a 29-burger? Say it ain’t so Saquon. Say it ain’t so. That was the difference in this contest as the Commish squeaked out a 14-point win, 140-126 behind the Jonathan Taylor octopus. The battle of the Oregon Duck QBs goes to the Moss Head in round 1, but Saquon made a valiant effort in the last 5 minutes of afternoon games and the Commish was sweating it out on the walk to The Pink down Occidental Avenue. Well, there’s never been an undefeated team in the Commish’s league history, but also there’s never been a winless team in the Commish’s league history. MoroXcan will need to wait another week to ensure that it doesn’t happen in 2025 as they fall to 0-5 with a tough loss to the Grim Reefer. MoroX went into the Nighter down 20 points with Worthy and Little, but it was too little too late as they were not worthy and could only muster 14 points and the Reefer improves to 2-3. Kyren Williams with two bonus tuddies on Thursday Night got the Reefer off to an impressive start with a 36-burger. But remember MoroXcan, don’t stop believing. Some'll win, some will lose. Some are born to sing the blues. Whoa, the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on.

Just Another Lizard For Peace