AP (Louisville, KY)

September 6, 2025

Louisville Losers owner and GM Jason Seber fielded an important call Friday morning from Coach Andy Reid of the Kansas City Chiefs. It was time to discuss strategy for the 2025 Rustic Fantasy League season.

"Listen, Jason. You know you're going to have like 4 season-ending injuries by week 3 and your entire roster is going to be decimated for like the 8th season in a row. I was thinking. Would you like to just get it over with a little sooner this year? You know, rip the band-aid off so to say? It might hurt less!" Coach Reid suggested in their 4-minute call.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Why have hope at all? Might as well settle in to the fact that it's going to be another season of nothing but major injuries and major disappointments," Seber told Coach.

"I've got the perfect play to run then, it's called the Swiftie Sabotage. It's one of my best designed plays, and I've been waiting to use it. Travis will channel all of Taylor's energy and strength and I'll have him run a cross route right into Xavier. That little dude won't know what's coming! We'll knock him out flat and destroy his shoulder for at LEAST a month or two, maybe the whole season!"

"Perfect," Seber replied. "Just perfect."

The plan worked to perfection Friday night as the only receiver with any talent at all whatsoever left on the Chiefs active roster went down hard after what felt like 8 seconds of game time. No reports yet on the severity of Worthy's injury, but it looked pretty bad.

"Hey, before I let you go," Coach said, "I still have connections in Philly you know. If you want, I can call my guys up there and get Jalen Carter on your roster. I know you don't do individual defensive players in your league, but he'll probably be suspended a game or 2 so you can be guaranteed more goose eggs on your scoreboard!"

"Thanks, Coach, I sure appreciate your support. You're the very best!" Seber replied. The phone conversation ended upbeat, with Seber wishing the Chiefs another Super Bowl run and Coach Reid suggesting Seber should seriously consider not playing fantasy football any more.