I know how much Gerry loves those Star Wars analogies but there was a part in the movie when Darth Vader told Obi-Wan Kenobi that the student has become the master.  We have seen that happen in the VHFFL.  There was a time that I could have talked the skirt off a virgin but those days are long gone.  Tom is the new master.  Over the past years Mr. Irrelevant has made more favorable trades than Warren Buffet and he just worked his magic this past week. 

After the injury to Mixon, Coach was feeling more vulnerable than a teenage girl at a P-Diddy party.  So, Tom reached out, waved his sausage fingers and Coach gave up his goodies like the head cheerleader on prom night.  Of course, Tom did give Coach $2.00 for his troubles which equates to cab fare after the deed was done.  A full-time starter in Moore for a guy that’s going to be on the bench this week?  Coach, guess what…You still have the same problem.  Mixon is out and Walker is coming back.  You better give Rex a call.  Maybe you can get another $2.00 for the handcuff and get a third down receiver for the starter you lost.  Tom is getting that reputation I enjoyed all those years because right now I have more faith in CNN polling numbers than Mr. Handcuff…Nice sweater…

Let’s get to the games

Girlfriend got bit by the rule she hates because Harrison “Butt-Munch” missed an XP and the two-point swing caused her to lose by 1.78 points.  I feel your pain, Beth.  It was right there because Tom’s team couldn’t score with a fist full of hundreds in a whorehouse on Sunday but with Coach giving Tom the extra WR points you were doomed.  Beth, it seems like you had beat Tom, Coach and that stupid rule book this weekend.  Too much to ask of anyone…

Kevin had the week he was dreaming of.  Finally, he got the play from his WR’s and Dak rolled up the points in garbage time.  However, it wasn’t enough.  Paulie stomped his dick in the dirt with the best RB performances of the season.  Paulie added insult to injury by picking up Goodwin and laying an eleven spot on him.  99 points and one win…it’s like having anorexia and losing no weight…HAHAHAHA

Doll Face picks up a huge win over Junior with a solid performance from Joe Burrow.  Yea, I said it.  It was a good thing Mary Ellen had Joe Cool because he was definitely the difference in the matchup.  Cole Kmet made an appearance also with a TD and 97 yards.  On the losing side of the ledger, I think Mike found something in Rashee Rice.  He has become Mahomes number 1 receiver surpassing Kelce who seems to only be thinking about post-game festivities.  Jahmyr Gibbs also showed up in a low scoring game.  The rest of his retards and fuck-ups didn’t even get off the plane. 

On a side note, Mary Annis is probably looking for a retraction at the very least.  She is not the worst team in the league treading water at a respectable 3-3.  Let me put it to you this way…Homie Don’t Play That…I stand by what I said and you’ll get your sorry when you sandpaper a lion’s ass in a pair of pork chop panties… (Mic Drop)

The Boss had a tougher week than trying to explain a gender reveal party to a bunch of liberals.  I like Hall and Wilson but I don’t know if they will ever give him that “monster” week he is looking for.  And hopefully a bolt of lightning will hit Jalen Hurts and make him right.  I know something was wrong when Gerry didn’t go after him. 

Conversely, welcome back Dallas Goedert…10 catches 170 yards!  I’ll take it.  And of course, Lamar beating the Cowboys at home, another added treat.  At 5-1, Dip Shit is quietly putting together another solid year in defense of his title.  Somebody better Nancy Kerrigan this autistic Barbie before this shit gets out of hand.

The Big Dawg is riding Barkey like Seattle Slew to another victory.  This week’s victim is the Commish.  Gerry had a nice play with Allen and Aaron Jones but it wasn’t enough.  However, I do think that Nick Sirianni screwed Gerry out of a win against the average when he didn’t kick all those field goals and then decides to go for a 75-yarder giving Gerry a -1.  I can just imagine the Lowe household with Patti prying the shotgun out of the Gerry’s hands.  “Just the knee caps Patti…I swear…”

Well Coach, you got Charbonnet, he had a great week, I hope you enjoyed it.  However, your second receiver shit the bed and now you are forced to play second tier receivers.  That trade you were all excited about worked out as good as Joe Biden’s speech therapy sessions. 

I was really happy with my runners this week and got a surprise from Chubba.  It seems my Arizona connection is coming through like support checks for the illegal aliens.  We’ll ride the wave.  Hopefully it takes me till McCaffrey gets back…

If guns kill people, does forks make people fat…?  (I’m fucking suing Silverware…)

ECG