Another fantasy season starts for the VHFFL and yet another opportunity to prove I am the ultimate “Mush” of the fantasy football world.  At this point it really doesn’t matter but let’s recap.  Christian McCaffrey was the consensus number one pick in the fantasy world and after being very patient in the auction I actually had a chance of grabbing him.  The fantasy gods gave me this shallow victory and I was the winning bid however it was short lived.  90 minutes before a Monday night game (when all my other players played) this in-bred cousin fucker decides his vagina hurts too much to play…However, if it was a playoff game he would have played…What???  Are you injured or not??  That is the definition of getting skull fucked.  Ok, I missed him for one game, I’ll live.  Oh no…not good enough for Eddie Mush.  After all week saying he is going to play against Minnesota, this ass-wipe decides to go on the IR.  That one hurt worse than an elephant fucking a rabbit.  Well, I’m done after the first week.  Enjoy the rest of the year guys…

P.S.  If you think I was bitter last year…

The only thing that saved me from a low-score fine was Doll Face and her ménage-a-trios of quarterbacks...guessed wrong again Doll Face.  This one cost you $5.00

Talk about getting bent over the desk, how about Paulie?  If I told you a TE was going to go off in the Baltimore game you would automatically think of Mark Andrews.  Not last week.  Isaiah Likely took over that mantle with an impressive 9 catches for 111 yards and 1 TD which prompted Junior to go after him in free agency like the last boat out of communist Cuba.  That’s all that tranny-knuckle dragger Tom needed to get a double win.  Nice sweater…

Couldn’t fully enjoy the Eagles game with Saquon scoring touchdowns like he’s playing in a High school game against St. Andrew’s School for the Physically Impaired but it was a small consolation for my pathetic team.  Congrats on the high score for the week! 

Game of the week was definitely Mike and Brian.  Junior just outlasted Dip Shit with dominate WR play.  These two will be a tough out this year. 

Now we come up to King Midas.  Yes, our beloved Commissioner.  Any piece of shit he drafts or gets in the auction performs.  It just doesn’t matter.  Do you know how many years I had Aaron Jones???  This fucking guy couldn’t find the end zone with Christopher Columbus and a GPS.  Yet for Gerry, no problem.  Devon Achane splitting time with Mostert…no problem we’ll give Mostert a chest injury so Devon gets all the touches.  It’s amazing, year after year this happens.  Whatever Gerry has I hope it’s contagious.

Hey Kev, how did Travis work out for you?  The only thing that made week one palatable was knowing that you suck too…

I may have been in error when I said I didn’t like New England runner.  It seems like we have a feature back in Stevenson.  He got 28 touches…wow that unheard of in New England but let’s see if they can keep it up. 

I know Coach lost but how about some credit for selecting Jadyen Daniels.  First of all, Daniels is melanin challenged but Coach broke the norm and went after him.  Welcome to the 21st century Coach.  St. Brown will come back to form but now Coach has a QB he can rely on.  Congrats!

Thought for the day…

If we couldn’t afford $10 billion to build the wall how did we afford $650 billion to give to Ukraine? Hmmm

ECG