TBL2 Weekly Preview – Week 13 

HELLO TBL2! You are looking LIVE at the precipice of the postseason! We have arrived at Week 13, the lucky number for some, the absolute DAGGER for others! The turkey is cold, the stuffing is gone, but the appetite for VICTORY has never been hungrier!

We’ve got chaos in the UFC North! We’ve got a heavyweight slugfest in the LFC South! And we’ve got teams clawing at the cliff’s edge, trying not to fall into the abyss of the Shodan Bowl! The playoffs are looming like a linebacker in the A-gap, and there is nowhere to hide. WHOOP!

Standings are tight, tensions are high, and the Berman is here to break it all down. Let’s GO!

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Ozarks (10-5) vs Crazy Con Men (10-5)

 

Storyline: THE BATTLE FOR THE NORTH! It doesn’t get any bigger than this, folks! Both teams sitting at 10-5, neck-and-neck, cheek-to-jowl! The Ozarks are looking to climb the mountain and plant their flag, but the Crazy Con Men have been pulling the ultimate heist all season long. Winner takes the driver’s seat for the division crown; loser is left scrambling for a Wild Card!

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • Ozarks: Matthew Stafford

  • Crazy Con Men: Drake Maye

  • Edge: Ozarks. The veteran savvy of Stafford vs. the rookie? I’ll take the guy with the ring!

• RBs

  • Ozarks: Saquon Barkley, James Cook

  • Crazy Con Men: Chase Brown, Zach Charbonnet

  • Edge: Ozarks. Saquon is running like a man possessed!

• WRs

  • Ozarks: Davante Adams, Stefon Diggs, Puka Nacua

  • Crazy Con Men: Wan'Dale Robinson, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Rome Odunze

  • Edge: Ozarks. That trio of Adams, Diggs, and Nacua? That’s not a receiving corps, that’s an ALL-STAR TEAM!

• TE

  • Ozarks: George Kittle

  • Crazy Con Men: Cade Otton

  • Edge: Ozarks. The People’s Tight End reigns supreme!

• DL / LB / DB

  • Ozarks: K'Lavon Chaisson / Blake Cashman, Tyrel Dodson / Geno Stone, Tykee Smith

  • Crazy Con Men: Derrick Brown, Laiatu Latu / Nik Bonitto, Nick Herbig / Christian Gonzalez

  • Edge: Crazy Con Men. Their young defenders are hungry!

Bottom Line: The Con Men have scrappiness on their side, but the Ozarks are rolling out a lineup that looks like a fantasy fever dream. The star power is just too bright in the mountains this week.

Prediction: Ozarks take the crown in a shootout, 168.4 – 142.9.

What’s at Stake: The UFC North Title is on the line! This is basically a playoff game in Week 13!

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Jager Bombs (11-4) vs Jakku Resistance (10-5)

 

Storyline: This is the RUMBLE IN THE LFC SOUTH! Jager Bombs are sitting pretty at 11-4, dropping payloads of points all season. But don't sleep on the Resistance! At 10-5, they are fighting the good fight and looking to topple the empire. This is strength versus strength, power versus power!

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • Jager Bombs: Bo Nix

  • Jakku Resistance: Jalen Hurts

  • Edge: Jakku Resistance. Jalen Hurts is a fantasy cheat code!

• RBs

  • Jager Bombs: Rico Dowdle, Christian McCaffrey

  • Jakku Resistance: RJ Harvey

  • Edge: Jager Bombs. CMC is back and he is dangerous!

• WRs

  • Jager Bombs: Ladd McConkey, DeVonta Smith, Cedric Tillman

  • Jakku Resistance: Ja'Marr Chase, Nico Collins, CeeDee Lamb, Jaylen Waddle

  • Edge: Jakku Resistance. Chase, Collins, Lamb, Waddle? That is absolutely UNFAIR!

• TE

  • Jager Bombs: Travis Kelce

  • Jakku Resistance: Dallas Goedert

  • Edge: Jager Bombs. Kelce is still the king of the tight end room.

• DL / LB / DB

  • Jager Bombs: Will Anderson Jr, Aidan Hutchinson / Bobby Okereke / Kyle Hamilton

  • Jakku Resistance: Maxx Crosby / Patrick Queen, D'Marco Jackson / Chamarri Conner

  • Edge: Jager Bombs. Anderson and Hutchinson bring the HEAT!

Bottom Line: The Resistance has the wide receivers to score 200, but Jager has the balance with CMC and Kelce. This one comes down to the wire, but the Bombs have just enough explosive plays to win it.

Prediction: Jager Bombs survive, 175.2 – 168.8.

What’s at Stake: Playoff seeding and divisional bragging rights. The winner keeps pressure on Double Sluggo!

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Ass Pennies (9-6) vs Guinness (2-13)

 

Storyline: The Ass Pennies are 9-6 and fighting for their playoff lives! They cannot afford a slip-up here. Guinness sits at 2-13, looking to play the ultimate spoiler. Will it be a celebratory pint or a bitter swig of defeat?

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • Ass Pennies: Josh Allen

  • Guinness: Tyrod Taylor

  • Edge: Ass Pennies. Josh Allen is a one-man wrecking crew!

• RBs

  • Ass Pennies: Breece Hall, Woody Marks

  • Guinness: David Montgomery, Rhamondre Stevenson

  • Edge: Ass Pennies. Breece Lightning strikes twice!

• WRs

  • Ass Pennies: Khalil Shakir, Xavier Worthy, Tetairoa McMillan

  • Guinness: Jakobi Meyers, Rashid Shaheed, Ricky Pearsall

  • Edge: Ass Pennies. The Allen-Shakir stack is lethal.

• TE

  • Ass Pennies: Trey McBride

  • Guinness: Brock Bowers

  • Edge: Push. Two of the best young TEs in the game facing off!

• DL / LB / DB

  • Ass Pennies: Quinnen Williams / Devin Bush / Kyle Dugger

  • Guinness: Jalyx Hunt / Nick Bolton / Kevin Byard

  • Edge: Guinness. Nick Bolton is a tackling machine!

Bottom Line: Josh Allen and Breece Hall are too much firepower for a struggling Guinness squad. The Pennies cash in this week!

Prediction: Ass Pennies roll, 155.6 – 128.4.

What’s at Stake: The Ass Pennies need this to stay in the Wild Card hunt. A loss here could be fatal!

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KingAj86 (5-10) vs The Architect (9-6)

 

Storyline: The Architect is constructing a playoff resume at 9-6, but the foundation needs one more win to cure! KingAj86 has had a rough go at 5-10, but he’s got the rookie sensation at QB and nothing to lose.

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • KingAj86: Caleb Williams

  • The Architect: Trevor Lawrence

  • Edge: KingAj86. The rookie is cooking!

• RBs

  • KingAj86: Kenneth Gainwell, Bucky Irving, Ashton Jeanty

  • The Architect: Javonte Williams, Kenneth Walker III, Devon Achane

  • Edge: The Architect. Achane and K-Walk bring the speed!

• WRs

  • KingAj86: Darnell Mooney, Romeo Doubs

  • The Architect: Deebo Samuel, Amon-Ra St. Brown

  • Edge: The Architect. The Sun God shines bright!

• TE

  • KingAj86: Jake Ferguson

  • The Architect: Zach Ertz

  • Edge: KingAj86. Ferguson is Dak’s safety blanket.

• DL / LB / DB

  • KingAj86: Sebastian Joseph / Leo Chenal / Josh Metellus

  • The Architect: Justin Eboigbe / Bobby Wagner / Jalen Thompson

  • Edge: The Architect. Bobby Wagner is timeless!

Bottom Line: The Architect has too many studs at the skill positions. KingAj puts up a fight, but the blueprint is solid for a TA victory.

Prediction: The Architect builds a win, 162.1 – 145.3.

What’s at Stake: The Architect needs to keep pace in the UFC North race. A loss opens the door for the chasers!

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The Process (4-11) vs Rockin Squatches (10-5)

 

Storyline: The Squatches are rockin’ and rollin’ at 10-5, eyeing a high seed! The Process is... well, trusting the lottery process at 4-11. Can the underdog shock the world, or will the Squatches stomp them out?

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • The Process: Justin Fields

  • Rockin Squatches: C.J. Stroud

  • Edge: Rockin Squatches. Stroud is accurate and dangerous.

• RBs

  • The Process: Tyler Allgeier

  • Rockin Squatches: Jonathan Taylor, Jahmyr Gibbs

  • Edge: Rockin Squatches. Taylor AND Gibbs? That’s unfair!

• WRs

  • The Process: Cooper Kupp, Chris Olave, Zay Flowers, Emeka Egbuka

  • Rockin Squatches: George Pickens, Jameson Williams, Jordan Addison

  • Edge: The Process. Kupp and Olave are route-running technicians!

• TE

  • The Process: Juwan Johnson

  • Rockin Squatches: Dalton Kincaid

  • Edge: Rockin Squatches. Kincaid is a prime target.

• DL / LB / DB

  • The Process: YaYa Diaby / Demario Davis / Amani Hooker

  • Rockin Squatches: Montez Sweat / T.J. Watt / Minkah Fitzpatrick

  • Edge: Rockin Squatches. T.J. Watt creates havoc!

Bottom Line: The Process has a sneaky good WR corps, but that Squatches backfield is a steamroller. They flatten the competition this week.

Prediction: Rockin Squatches dominate, 178.9 – 132.5.

What’s at Stake: Playoff positioning for the Squatches. Pride for The Process.

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Fanny Dusters (4-11) vs Big Possum Walks Late (3-12)

 

Storyline: It’s the Battle of the Basement! The Dusters and the Possum are scrapping for pride and draft picks. Who wants it less? Who wants to walk away with a moral victory?

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • Fanny Dusters: Will Howard

  • Big Possum: Tua Tagovailoa

  • Edge: Big Possum. Tua has the weapons in Miami.

• RBs

  • Fanny Dusters: Dylan Sampson

  • Big Possum: Trevor Etienne, Travis Etienne, Isaac Guerendo

  • Edge: Big Possum. The Brothers Etienne carry the load!

• WRs

  • Fanny Dusters: KaVontae Turpin, Parker Washington, Jayden Higgins

  • Big Possum: Courtland Sutton, D.J. Moore

  • Edge: Big Possum. Sutton and Moore are established vets.

• TE

  • Fanny Dusters: Dalton Schultz

  • Big Possum: Chigoziem Okonkwo

  • Edge: Fanny Dusters. Schultz is reliable.

• DL / LB / DB

  • Fanny Dusters: Cameron Heyward / Robert Spillane / DaRon Bland

  • Big Possum: Leonard Williams / Devin White / Xavier McKinney

  • Edge: Big Possum. Devin White flies to the ball.

Bottom Line: Big Possum might walk late, but they arrive on time this week. The Dusters are just too depleted to keep up.

Prediction: Big Possum takes it, 135.4 – 112.7.

What’s at Stake: The #1 Overall Pick in the draft is on the line! (Or at least the odds for it!)

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JoeStradamus (5-10) vs Nea Kameni (10-5)

 

Storyline: JoeStradamus saw a win in his crystal ball, but Nea Kameni has been rewriting destiny all season! NK is 10-5 and surging, while Joe is trying to salvage a 5-10 campaign.

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • JoeStradamus: Kirk Cousins

  • Nea Kameni: Justin Herbert

  • Edge: Nea Kameni. Herbie is fully loaded!

• RBs

  • JoeStradamus: TreVeyon Henderson, Quinshon Judkins

  • Nea Kameni: D'Andre Swift, Kyren Williams

  • Edge: Nea Kameni. Kyren Williams is a touchdown machine!

• WRs

  • JoeStradamus: Jauan Jennings, Christian Watson, Michael Wilson

  • Nea Kameni: Keenan Allen, Jerry Jeudy

  • Edge: JoeStradamus. Christian Watson is a big play waiting to happen.

• TE

  • JoeStradamus: Hunter Henry

  • Nea Kameni: Kyle Pitts, Colston Loveland

  • Edge: Nea Kameni. Pitts is a unicorn!

• DL / LB / DB

  • JoeStradamus: Demarcus Lawrence / Zack Baun / Brian Branch

  • Nea Kameni: Danielle Hunter / Roquan Smith / Jordan Battle

  • Edge: Nea Kameni. Roquan cleans up everything.

Bottom Line: Nea Kameni has too much firepower at the top. Joe puts up a valiant fight, but NK secures the W and keeps marching toward the playoffs.

Prediction: Nea Kameni wins, 158.2 – 139.5.

What’s at Stake: Momentum for Nea Kameni heading into the postseason!

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Double Sluggo (13-2) vs Grave Diggers (5-10)

 

Storyline: DAVID VS GOLIATH! Double Sluggo is the titan of TBL2 at 13-2, crushing everyone in their path. The Grave Diggers are 5-10, hoping to dig a hole big enough to trap the giant. Is an upset brewing, or just another stomping?

Position-by-Position Breakdown:

• QB

  • Double Sluggo: Lamar Jackson

  • Grave Diggers: Patrick Mahomes

  • Edge: Push. Two former MVPs! It doesn't get better than this!

• RBs

  • Double Sluggo: Josh Jacobs, Bijan Robinson

  • Grave Diggers: Derrick Henry

  • Edge: Double Sluggo. Bijan and Jacobs are a devastating duo. King Henry is great, but he's solo.

• WRs

  • Double Sluggo: A.J. Brown, Justin Jefferson, Michael Pittman Jr

  • Grave Diggers: DeAndre Hopkins, Rashee Rice, Marvin Harrison Jr

  • Edge: Double Sluggo. AJ Brown AND Justin Jefferson? Stop it! That’s illegal!

• TE

  • Double Sluggo: Mark Andrews

  • Grave Diggers: Tyler Warren

  • Edge: Double Sluggo. Andrews is Lamar's go-to guy.

• DL / LB / DB

  • Double Sluggo: Myles Garrett / Foyesade Oluokun / Budda Baker

  • Grave Diggers: Micah Parsons / Jordan Davis / Derwin James

  • Edge: Double Sluggo. Garrett and Oluokun are IDP royalty.

Bottom Line: The Grave Diggers have Mahomes and Henry, but Sluggo has an entire Pro Bowl roster. The juggernaut keeps rolling.

Prediction: Double Sluggo dominates, 188.5 – 152.3.

What’s at Stake: Double Sluggo securing the #1 overall seed and terrified whispers from the rest of the league.

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Around the League

 

The playoff picture is coming into focus, but the lens is still a little blurry! Double Sluggo is the clear frontrunner, but Jager Bombs and Nea Kameni are lurking in the weeds. The UFC North is the division to watch—whoever survives the Ozarks vs Crazy Con Men cage match is instantly a title contender.

 

Final Word

 

We are in the endgame now! Every point matters, every tackle counts, and every touchdown is a step closer to immortality. Don't look back, because the playoffs are gaining on you! Buckle up, TBL2, because Week 13 is going to be a bumpy, wild, ELECTRIC ride!

Projected League-High Score: Double Sluggo (188.5)

Upset Alert: The Process giving Rockin Squatches a scare (but falling short)

Game of the Week: Ozarks vs Crazy Con Men (For the Division!)

Blowout Watch: Rockin Squatches over The Process