Little Lennie's Fantasies

Another week, another tough loss to the Power Rankings leader, the Bad Boyz. Last weekend they fell to the Shit Hawks by a score of 119-91. In our leagues history I can't remember when a team has scored 90+ points in 3 of the first 6 weeks and lost all 3 games! And to rub salt into the wound, lost all 3 games to that week's high team! The Boyz dropped 94 in a Week 2 115-94 loss to the Blitz, 113 in a 142-113 loss to the Strappies in Week 4, and 91 in last week's loss. The silver lining? The Boyz are a scoring juggernaught, tops in the league by a wide margin to the Straphangers, which eventually should pay dividends in the win column. Certainly the most deceiving 5-3 record our league has seen.

Parity...something Godell has called for the the NFL, has also taken hold of Little Lennie's league thus far in 2025. While the Strappies hold the best record at 6-2, there are no unbeaten teams (although the Boyz easily could be 8-0), while 5 teams sit at 5-3 and 2 more at 4-4. The obvious takeaways from our league's parity are the following...

1. Divisional games like this weekend's become even more important in terms of possibly breaking season-ending ties.
2. Teams like the 3-5 Mule or even the 0-8 Dogs can rattle off a few wins and find themselves back in this thing.
3. Our final doubleheader weekend down the road will be even that much more meaningful if records continue to stay this bunched up.

One other note. While the Boyz continue to suffer the worst luck possible, Custodial Nation appears to have rid themselves of their injury plague that ruined the 2024 season for them. Last year the Blitz had more players on IR than any team in recent memory, losing players like Christian McCaffrey, Brandon Aiyuk, Taysom Hill, and Austin Ekeler for the season. The commisioner almost resorted to an intervention for Marco Aiello who sat in the owner's box (actually his man-cave) each weekend watching his players legs snap, or arms break in multiple places! It wasn't a pretty site seeing a man noted for bossing the Gloucester carriers around each night instead sitting in his armchair hands over his face crying "Why me, fantasy lord, why me?". Well, along came 2025, the Blitz are healthy and guess what? Yep, they are leading their Slimeball division with a 5-3 record and a top 5 offense. Customers leave Toilet Bowl stadium happy now, greeted by staff handing out free rolls of Sharmins on their way out the gates after another win! All is good with the Nation and that is good for Little Lennies league...

And finally, it's been a relatively quite year thus far for the 6-2 Strappies. Maybe Coach Q. has been focused on his GHS golfing legacy as their leader or maybe he is trying not to jinx his team which looks pretty darn good to Little Lennie. And even Coach Paul P. has been pretty quiet as he makes move after move trying to keep his 4-4 Iron in the hunt. Josh Allen goes on a roll and the Geritol Kids could be dangerous if they can make it to the playoffs. And finally, is Little Lennie the only one thinking that whenever the Hellraisers post a message they should identify themselves as either Joe or Paul instead of hiding behind their team name? Oh well, I think we know who is who when they post anyway...Just sayin. Heard one of the owners is heading back to NYC for a Rush concert?

Little Lennie's Quick Picks

Road Dogs +18 vs. Beach Court Blitz... Proverbial "trap game" if ever there was one for the Blitz as they need to shut down any chances of being bit on the ass by a desperate Puppy franchise! Bobby has got a rested Justin Jefferson and Nico Collins back in his lineup and revenge in his heart for anyone questioning his Dog Squad! The Nation is heavily favored by the computer as well (77%) with a running game 2nd to none, led by Achane and Gibbs. If the Dogs are to have any chance then Bo Nix has to step up his game and get back to the Bo Nix of Week 4 (32 fantasy points). At home and against the Giants? Could happen. While Little Lennie give the Nation the nod, it could be a barn burner, decided on Monday night! Nation by 4!

Chuddaheads +19 vs. the BillyClubs... While all the love in '25 is going to the Boyz and Strappies, remember folks, the defending champs quietly sit at 5-3 with a receiving corps headed by an awakening Ja'Marr Chase (60 points in his last 3 games) disgruntled A.J. Brown, and underrated Michael Pittman Jr.. This team is good, boys! Today the Chuddas travel to Rowleyville and Cement Pond Stadium for an important Slimeball matchup. Matthew Stafford, the gift that keeps on giving, has taken the Bombers out to an early 34-19 lead, but Dak Prescott is on a tear right now which should close things up a bit. When the final seconds tick off the clock Monday night Little Lennie is putting this one in the upset column as the Baghdad Bombers fly home to see the night sky lit up with anti-aircraft fire! Those boys in Iraq can really celebrate their wins. Bombers by 9!

Hellraisers OTB vs. Government Mule... 9 games into the season and still off-the-board spreads? Unheard of! This would be a monumental loss for the Satanic Duo to lose this must win divisional game. The computer has their odds today at 95%! A must, must, must win game! Flacco (27) did his part while Rico Dowdle should feast on the Jets as well. The Mule enters today with a league worst 12th ranked offense. PFIII's squad is in it, but averaging just 51 ppg, for how long? Satan takes the boys out to Chipotle for a nice meal after their 13 point waltz of a win!

Bad Boyz OTB vs. The Iron... 2 games of off-the-board?!  The top ranked offense in the league and Power Ranking leader comes into Iron Stadium looking to stay atop the Monty Hall division while putting some distance between their team and The Iron. As this newsletter is being posted, Trevor Lawrence is being shut out by the Rams. no so "en fuego" for Team Iron! Jonathan Taylor and George Pickens continue their torrid streaks, leading the Boyz to a nice 17 point blowout of one of his top 2 nemesis'. Coach Poliz continues to hunker down at his Cherry Street headquarters looking for ways to get his team back on top. 

Sunnyvale Shit Hawks +9 vs. the Straphangers. It's weird that the 3-5 Hawks are only 9 point underdogs to the league best 6-2 Straphangers. Even weirder that the Strappies, who own the league's 2nd ranked offense and are ranked #2 in the Power Rankings, are given only a 14% chance of overcoming their early 30-5 deficit. Not-so-young anyomre Danny Brown's kicker...that's right, Danny, your kicker, Evan McPherson, went off for 19 on Thursday night and could be the difference maker in this matchup of the mentor vs. his protege. Smith-Njigba and Bijan Robinson are both on fire and help the Hawks overcome any Monday night heroics by Baker Mayfield. The Hawks complete the big upset by 11!

TripleA -12 vs. Moulton Lava... Losers of 3 of their last 4, the once 4-0 Lava has fallen back to the rest of the pack and could use a win here to stop the bleeding. Goff and St. Brown could both be in line for a big Monday night showing which could get the Lava enough points to pull out the win. For the Arsonists, Mahomes should do well at home against the Raiders while Jacobs and McCaffrey should post nice numbers as well. This one could be a nail-biter for both teams. Little Lennie gives a 3 point edge to TripleA as they hold off a late Monday night surge by the Burnhams Field kids! Arsonists light the torches around town as they celebrate beating the Moultons!

Good luck to everyone this weekend. E$njoy the warm weather.