THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

Week 13 ended in fanfare with some major playoff ramifications. The win by Deez Nutz put them into the playoffs, while Sin will need to wait one more week, heading into week 14 without Drake Maye and Christian McCaffrey both on bye. With one week left to go, there’s a lot on the table to figure out overall. Here’s the yearly tiebreaker article to breakdown what has to happen for every team.

TIME IS PRECIOUS, YOU CAN DELETE THIS.
Almost every team has a chance, unless you have a Chance, then you have no chance. That is to say DnC has been eliminated from D-Cup playoff contention. Meanwhile, one Josh is out (sorry ‘Bombers with your 4-8-1 record) while the other Josh is hanging by a thread with Rickah.

SIX IS THE MAGIC NUMBER
Every year there’s generally a line drawn in the loss-column sand to see what guarantees you make the Playoffs, and this year it’s 6 Losses. If you end up with only 6 losses, you’ll make it into the playoffs. There is one exception, and that is JB who has 2 ties. He could finish 6-6-2, and that would be the same as a 7-7 record and thus would need to go to tiebreakers potentially. Otherwise, if you already have a 7 or higher in your loss column, I’d recommend you keep on reading.

THE STING (10-3-0)
The Sting has wrapped up the Heaney Division title and a BYE. He controls his own destiny as he has one more win that Swamp Cousys thanks to a tie by Cooz with JB. If Sabino wins or Cousy loses in Week 14, Jeff will clinch the #1 seed.

SWAMP COUSYS (9-3-1)
Thanks to his win in week 13, Cousy clinched the Steve Division and a BYE. He’ll need a win vs Berg in Week 14 and either a Sabino loss or tie (Cousy holds the tiebreaker between the two) to get the #1 seed. Otherwise, he’s locked in at #2.

OLEARIOUS AND CAPITAL PUNISHMENT (both 8-5-0)
Both Joey and Doogs won in week 13 clinching a spot in the D-Cup playoffs. Depending on what happens this week will determine their seeds. If they are solely tied with each other, Doogs holds the tiebreaker thanks to a week 10 ass-whupping 107-50 over Joey.

This means there are only two spots left to make the D-Cup playoffs, with 5 teams still in contention. The Wayne is the key variable in this whole equation.

WAYNE DIVISION WACKINESS
The biggest piece of this puzzle is who will win the Wayne Division and get the automatic #3 seed. The Game of the Week will come down to Lagopalooza (6-7-0) vs Show Me Your TDs (6-7-0). They play each other head-to-head in Week 14 and the winner will be crowned the Wayne Division Champ and take the #3 seed as a division winner. If for some reason they tie—which has happened twice already this season—Lago owns the tiebreaker thanks to a 94-75 win over the Pro back in week 5.

THE LAST SEAT ON THE BUS
So five of our six D-Cup Playoff participants will be:

Heaney Division Champ The Sting (#1 or #2 seed)
Steve Division Champ Swamp Cousys (#1 or #2 seed)
Wayne Division Champ Lago/Pro (#3 seed)
Capital Punishment
CeeDeez Nutz

That would leave one last spot with the following teams fighting it out:

Loser of Lago vs Pro
What About Berg?
The Sinners
Jonny Cabs
The Camels

The Easiest Way To Look At This

If one of JB, Nate or Sin win, and the other two lose, that person will get the last spot.

In a tie between, Nate and JB, Nate wins.

In a tie between, Nate and Sin, Sin wins.

In a tie between, JB and Sin, JB wins.

If they all win, Nate beats JB, but Sin would beat Nate and Sin advances.

If they all lose, we’ll good luck understanding everything below.

THE SCENARIOS

We’ll take it team by team, but I will preface this by saying there are a ton of scenarios here so I may have missed one. And we’ll be ignoring any possible ties as that will F everything up even more. Also as a brief reminder:

In multiple team/multiple division tiebreakers, ties need to be determined by division first, leaving only the highest ranked team in each division.

Otherwise, these are the criteria for breaking ties:

Head to head (best won-loss pct.)

Best won-loss pct in division (applicable only if tie is within one division)

Most starting nuts in all games played

Best of 5 paper-rock-scissor with Commissioner present (or other appointed official). A coin toss may be determined if P-R-S attendance can’t be coordinated.

Some Key Tiebreakers:

Because Ties have to be determined in the division first, here are some key division tiebreaker info:

Nate owns tiebreaker between him and JB, beating JB 2-0 in their games this year.

Big O is out if he loses, but if he wins and ends up 6-8 there are scenarios where he would at least go to a tiebreaker. Inside the Wayne, he went 1-1 vs both Pro and Lago, but in these scenarios, The Camels would be 4-2 in the division and Pro/Lago (whoever doesn’t win this week) would have 3-3 or worse division records.

Let Me Count Your Nuts:

Also, one of the tiebreakers is Total Starting Nuts Scored in all Games. Here is where nutscoring is at the moment:

What About Berg?

Best possible finish: 7-7-0
Worst possible finish: 6-8-0
Win Tiebreak vs: Lago, JB, Big O
Loses Tiebreak vs: Sin, Pro

If he wins?
The best thing for Nate is he wins and Sin loses. Nate would be .500 at 7-7-0. He holds the tiebreak vs JB going 2-0 vs the Cabs so he’d win any division tiebreak. If Sin also wins, Nate loses the head-to-head with Sin.

And if he loses?
If Nate loses, he needs JB and Sin both to lose as well as a win by either would leave them with better records. But the reality is he’s unlikely to win any tiebreaker scenarios.

3-Team Tiebreakers
Nate-Sin-Big O all at 6-8: Sin advances with 2-0 record head to head.

Nate-Sin-Lago all at 6-8: All teams would be tied with .500 win %. It would come down to most starting nuts scored in all games. Sinners has a 53 nut lead over Berg and 125 over Lago.

Nate-Sin-Pro all at 6-8: Pro advances with 2-0 record head to head.

Jonny Cabs

Best possible finish: 6-6-2
Worst possible finish: 5-7-2
Win Tiebreak vs: Pro, Sin
Loses Tiebreak vs: Nate, Lago, Big O

If he wins?
JB needs to win and needs Nate to lose. He loses the tiebreaker to Berg and won’t even get out of his division for any other tiebreaker scenarios. If he wins and Nate loses, the only other team who could match him is Sin. JB holds the head to head with 90-62 Week 10 win over the Sinners.

And if he loses?
If JB loses, he’s done for. At best he’d be tied with Nate and he loses that tiebreaker every time.

Sinners

Best possible finish: 7-7-0
Worst possible finish: 6-8-0
Win Tiebreak vs: Nate, Big O
Loses Tiebreak vs: Pro, JB, Lago

If he wins?
Sin needs to win and JB to lose. If he wins and is tied with Nate we advances. JB has the tiebreaker vs Sin.

And if he loses?
If Sinners lose, he needs JB and Nate both to lose as well as a win by either would leave them with better records. Here are scenarios for Sin at 6-8.

3-Team Tiebreakers
Nate-Sin-Big O all at 6-8: Sin advances with 2-0 record head to head.

Nate-Sin-Lago all at 6-8: All teams would be tied with .500 win %. It would come down to most starting nuts scored in all games. Sinners has a 53 nut lead over Berg and 125 over Lago.

Nate-Sin-Pro all at 6-8: Pro advances with 2-0 record head to head.

Lagopalooza

Best possible finish: 7-7-0
Worst possible finish: 6-8-0
Win Tiebreak vs: Sin, JB
Loses Tiebreak vs: Nate, Camels (on division record if tied)

If he wins?
As explained above, a win by Lago over Pro gives Lagopalooza the Wayne division crown and earns him the #3 seed. It is his only real path to the playoffs.

And if he loses?
If Lago loses, he needs Nate, Sin, JB and the Camels to all lose to even be in a tiebreaker scenario.

3-Team Tiebreakers
Nate-Sin-Lago all at 6-8: All teams would be tied with .500 win %. It would come down to most starting nuts scored in all games. Sinners has a 53 nut lead over Berg and 125 over Lago.

Show Me Your TDs

Best possible finish: 7-7-0
Worst possible finish: 6-8-0
Win Tiebreak vs: Sin, Nate
Loses Tiebreak vs: JB, Camels (on division record if tied)

If he wins?
As explained above, a win by Pro over Lago gives the Timmy and his TDs the Wayne division crown and earns him the #3 seed.

And if he loses?
If Pro loses, he needs Nate, Sin, JB and the Camels to all lose to even be in a tiebreaker scenario.

3-Team Tiebreakers
Pro-Sin-Nate all at 6-8: Pro advances with 2-0 record head to head.

Fighting Camels

Best possible finish: 6-8-0
Worst possible finish: 5-9-0
Win Tiebreak vs: Pro (on div record), Lago (on div rec), JB
Loses Tiebreak vs: Sin, Nate

If he wins?
The Camels are out with a loss, so he has no choice but to win to be included in any tiebreaker scenario. He also needs JB, Nate and Sin to lose. The good news is whoever loses in the Wayne Division Title Match between Lago and Pro will have the same record as the Camels and a worse division record. The bad news is the best the Camels can do is be in a 3-way tie with Sin and Nate. And in that scenario, the only scenario that gives them a tiebreaking opportunity, they lose that to Sinners who had the best head to head amongst the three teams. Meaning Big O and Rickah read all this way to find out they ain’t moving on no matter what happens! Sorry.

And if he loses?
He’s out.

3-Team Tiebreakers

Nate-Sin-Big O all at 6-8: Sin advances with 2-0 record head to head.