Instead of the normal game by game previews, I decided to do a quick preview of the season for each time.  One thing that stood out, we all have terrible teams.  I always forget how bad teams look in this league compared to other leagues with fewer teams.  Sixteen teams entered draft night with a plan; by Week 1, most of those plans already require perfect health, five breakouts, and an opponent forgetting to set a lineup. A few contenders look dangerous, several rosters are living entirely on name recognition, and the bottom tier is one bad waiver claim away from becoming a historical exhibit. Enjoy the optimism while it lasts—by Sunday night the standings will be real, the excuses will be louder, and every “untouchable” player will suddenly be available for the right price.  With that being said, here is a quick overview.

HH North

Team:  HAIRBEAR

Seasons:          22

Championships:         0

2nd Place Finishes:   2

Season Outlook:         Hairbear should maybe be renamed Hope and a Prayer as they seem to have very little to actually work off of here, but a lot of potential lottery tickets.  Lawrence, Olave and Pickens should all be solid.  I like Bucky Irving as well, but there seems to be a lot of questions about him out there this year.  After that, who knows?  Can Chris Godwin be good again?  What about Harold Fannin?  Do Chris Rodriguez, Tyrone Tracy, Brian Thomas and Braelon Allen contribute anything?  How many Jrs can be on one team before the low-hanging Junior Varsity joke gets made?  I think four is enough.

Team:  nWo

Seasons:          19

Championships:         1

2nd Place Finishes:   0

Season Outlook:         It pains me to say it, but I like this team's makeup.  I'm high on Purdy, Brown and Jordan Mason.  I also like Hampton if the Chargers actually use him like a lead back.  Their WR depth is a little bit less impressive, but they should be able to find two guys out of Pittman, Sutton and Tate to get them 10-15 points a week.  If all else fails, they could probably try to convince Liq that this is Michael Pittman Sr and he'd give up anything they want in a trade for him.

Team:  Teddy Ruxpins

Seasons:          23

Championships:         2

2nd Place Finishes:   3

Season Outlook:         Maybe this happens more often than I remember, but it certainly seems to be the case this season again.  Rux has a pretty terrible looking draft but somehow talks weak owners to give them better players and somehow seems to be in it at the end of the season.  That is certainly going to have to be the plan this season because this team looks pretty weak right now.  Mike Tomlin looked good on TV this week though.  That was a solid pick if we had a starting spot for TV analysts.  Might be worth looking into for next season.

Team:  Turbo

Seasons:          14

Championships:         0

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         Word on the street is that Turbo is considering trying claim his entry fee as a charitable donation on his taxes.  Before he does that though, he's trying to go with the all or nothing approach.  They've got 5 good starters and potentially the number one QB with Allen and the number one RB with Gibbs.  But beyond that, good luck.  Maybe Kaelon Black, Jonah Coleman, Tank Bigsby or Mike Washington obtain starting roles due to injury.  I know everyone says that they don't wish injury on anybody else, but Turbo is certainly doing just that.  Team Handcuff will be interesting to watch and to make fun of.

HH South

Team:  Balls of Hate

Seasons:          11

Championships:         1

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         I hate to say it, really I do, but somehow Balls of Hate looks tough on paper. They have solid starters across the board except for maybe at WR2 and TE.  But Herbert, Cook and Amon-Ra should provide enough of a cushion week to week that will cover for those deficiencies.  All that being said, we all know that the only this team can really win is if their Def/ST and K outscore the rest of the league.  Or if Buddy helps them.

Team:  Hamburg Hooligans

Seasons:          26

Championships:         3

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         They have played in the Championship game the past two seasons and look to make it a third in a row this season.  To do that, they are relying on guys that need to muster up one more season akin to ones that they've had in the past.  Saquon, CMC, Justin Jefferson, Mark Andrews - if these guys regain their magic once again, the Hooligans will be tough to beat.  Seems like a lot to ask for though at this stage.

Team:  LiQ-ourballs

Seasons:          24

Championships:         1

2nd Place Finishes:   0

Season Outlook:         Liq is led by Patrick Mahomes.  I copied/pasted that line from about 6 other seasons I feel like, but never has that felt like a more tenuous statement than it does this year.  We joke about Balls of Hate, but this team really does look like their best players are their K and Def.  But if they were trying to construct a team to be able to play in The Longest Yard, having both Rashee Rice and Josh Jacobs on the roster might give this team the best shot at winning a game in prison.  Not sure that they will win very much anywhere else though.

Team:  My Ball Zach Ertz

Seasons:          21

Championships:         1

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         A mix of old and young, MBZE will be relying heavily on Joe Burrow, Ty Warren and Puka Nacua to start and then hoping that Rhamondre Stevenson and Aaron Jones take over their backfields.  I like the bet on Stevenson, not so much on Jones.  Can either Terry McClaurin or Mike Evans find their way to a big game every week?  Evans might be able to.  This team should be solid.

HH East

Team:  Bolsheviks

Seasons:          24

Championships:         4

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         Our champs are back to defend their title and I'm going to go out on a limb and say…they won't.  This team stinks.  CeeDee Lamb and Ken Walker and then nothing else.  Maybe they meant to bid on better players, but nobody could hear them mumbling with their hand over their mouth.  The Kennedy assassination.  The location of Jimmy Hoffa.  Bolsheviks winning the 'ship.  These are some of the greatest mysteries of our time.

Team:  Mad Dogs

Seasons:          20

Championships:         1

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         Twenty years ago Mad Dogs came in talking about all the championships they've won in other leagues.  Well, they can talk about the one they won here over that time in those other leagues.  If they didn’t send a photo of the trophy on the green during a round of golf, I wouldn't even remember that they won.  And this year won't change that perception.  This is a middling team everywhere you look, except for maybe at RB with Bijan and Travis Etienne.

Team:  Team Blitz-Craig

Seasons:          20

Championships:         2

2nd Place Finishes:   2

Season Outlook:         Feels weird to say it because Blitz-Craig always seems to be in the hunt, but they seem poised for a down year.  Their only real RB is 56.  Jayden Daniels might be good, but he also might suck? Ja'Marr Chase and Trey McBride are likely not enough to carry them to enough wins.

Team:  Trash Pandas

Seasons:          8

Championships:         0

2nd Place Finishes:   0

Season Outlook:         I don't know what I know, but I think building your team around Giants and Browns is probably not the greatest idea of all time.  One of only two teams that have never made it to the Championship, I am confident that I will write that same line next season at this time.  This might be the worst team in the league.  No offense.  None taken.

HH West

Team:  Nigerian Yaks

Seasons:          26

Championships:         6

2nd Place Finishes:   3

Season Outlook:         The Yaks are doing that interesting strategy of spending almost nothing on QB or TE.  That seems like a bad idea already.  We'll see how it goes, but I'm guessing it probably won't be great.

Team:  nWo Wulfpack

Seasons:          12

Championships:         0

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         Wulfpack needs Lamar to go off.  Every week.  And probably Achane, too.  Otherwise, they will be in trouble.  At least they have the Rams and Myles Garrett.  Oh, wait.  Um, maybe Drake London can figure out a way to throw the ball to himself?

Team:  Shock Value

Seasons:          21

Championships:         0

2nd Place Finishes:   0

Season Outlook:         The other team besides Trash Pandas to have never made it to the 'Ship.  Pandas are only 0 for 7 though.  Shock is 0 for 20.  You know what they say, " the 21st time is the charm."  No they don't.  That's crazy talk.  What they say is, "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity."  I ain't crazy.  Shock Value will fall short, like always.

Team:  T**m H**s

Seasons:          15

Championships:         1

2nd Place Finishes:   1

Season Outlook:         Oops, I messed up earlier.  This is, without a doubt, the worst team in the league and that was before Brock Bowers got hurt.  I am excited to see how bad they are and to think about where to cash in the two dinners he will owe me when he loses to me twice this season.

My final thought is my prediction for who wins the league this season….Balls of Hate!  Good luck outrunning that jinx.