| Mean Joe Greene Division | |||||
| # | Team | W | L | T | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| Jack Lambert Division | |||||
| # | Team | W | L | T | Pts |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| Terry Bradshaw Division | |||||
| # | Team | W | L | T | Pts |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| Franco Harris Division | |||||
| # | Team | W | L | T | Pts |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
| - | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00 | |
The confetti has been swept up, the championship trophy has been polished, and now every coach has officially convinced themselves this is their year. The draft order lottery is complete, and hope has been restored across the league... at least until someone's first-round pick tears an ACL in August.
*As Pete Carroll Invitational Champion, Coach John (Red Zone Assassins) has earned the right to select his preferred draft position. While currently slotted at #10, he may choose any draft slot before the order is finalized. Every other team will shift accordingly.
Steel Curtain lands the first overall pick after another postseason faceplant. Coach Jeff now has one more opportunity to build the perfect regular-season team before inventing a new way to lose in December.
CRUSHERS begin their title defense from the seventh spot. Coach Chuck has already proven he doesn't need an early pick to win championships, which is annoying for everyone else.
Jobu Needs a Refill comes off its first championship appearance with the fifth pick. Coach Rich will undoubtedly consult the spirits before making his selection.
The Shottenheimers somehow ended the season looking like the greatest team in fantasy history... only after the money games were over. Coach Chris hopes those points finally count in 2026.
Hunka Hunka Bernie Love draws the turn at Pick 12. Coach Brian has never been afraid of drafting from the back of the board, although history suggests he'll somehow find another league-winning receiver anyway.
The offseason officially begins now. Mock drafts will be overanalyzed. Sleeper lists will become gospel. Trade offers will get progressively more insulting. And somewhere, someone is already convincing themselves that this year's rookie tight end is "can't miss."
Welcome to draft season... where everyone is undefeated again.
Breaking News from League HQ
The decision has been made.
As the reigning Pete Carroll Invitational Champion, Coach John and the Red Zone Assassins have officially cashed in their championship privilege and selected the #1 overall pick in the 2026 Sunday at 1 Draft.
Congratulations to the rest of the league... you're all moving back one spot.
Coach John spent will now spend seeks evaluating every possible strategy before arriving at the bold conclusion that... picking first is pretty nice.
Now the pressure begins. The Red Zone Assassins are officially on the clock, and the rest of the league gets to spend the next few weeks telling him he's about to make the wrong pick.
Breaking News from League HQ
(After listening to Coach Jeff remind us for the 487th time that the Steelers have six Lombardis)
In honor of Coach Jeff and his beloved Steel Curtain, we're going to honor Steeler legends this year.
This year, all divisions will be named after Pittsburgh Steelers legends. You're welcome, Coach Jeff.
The Terry Bradshaw Division
(Four rings. One arm. Endless stories.)
The Franco Harris Division
(Home of miraculous victories and immaculate luck)
The Jack Lambert Division
(No front teeth. No mercy. No feelings)
The Mean Joe Greene Division
(The gold standard of intimidation. Coke commercial optional)
Steel Curtain can enjoy this moment... because if history tells us anything, Coach Jeff will dominate the regular season, lock up a top seed, and then mysteriously disappear once the playoffs begin.
Enjoy draft season, gentlemen.
